Did this morning's run. Almost missed it; I only managed to set one out of three alarm clocks correctly last night. The very last alarm to go off was the only one that went off this morning, leaving me somewhat confused. But hey, dog pee free. She was working the cookie angle hard last night; I think she let herself out three times before I was done watching TV and went to get her her night-night cookie. Yes, I some times talk baby talk to my dogs. Deal with it.
Speaking of TV, I was watching the Season 8 premiere of The Biggest Loser last night. Two minutes into the show and I am not only inspired, I'm really not hungry either. There are some LARGE people this season. At least three guys over 400 lbs and the heaviest person ever on the show is a gal named Shay who weighed in at 476 lbs. She almost doesn't look real. Her head looks relatively normal (a little chubby but I've seen MUCH chubbier). Consequently, she looks like she's wearing a fat suit. The freaky part was her MRI where you could see her skeleton and then all the fat surrounding it. Y'all, her arms are permanently in the bat wing position, because with all the fat she can't get them any closer to her body. Even though I have plenty of calories left in the day, I firmly decide against any kind of a nighttime snack.
This season, the contestants are all strangers. They are very excited to be there. Don't worry, Jillian will beat that enthusiasm right out of you.
To pick teams, they have to run a mile on the beach. First person over the finish line gets immunity for him and his partner. The gal who led the run most of the way goes down and goes down hard. Twenty minutes in and they've killed someone -- it's a new Biggest Loser record! (I know how she feels; I went to the ER last year because they thought I had appendicitis. I didn't but as they were getting food and fluids in me so I could go home my blood pressure crashed and they couldn't get it stabilized. So I spent two hours getting tests about my appendix and then four hours getting my blood pressure back.) She is lifeflighted out to the hospital. Another guy finishes but then isn't doing so well so they call a garden variety ambulance for him.
The remaining survivors are taken back to the ranch. They have a little meet and greet and then get paired up as so:
Orange: Daniel from season 7 is back. He was the heaviest contestant ever at 454 lbs last season. He's lost about 140 lbs since then and looks great. I'm rooting for him. He won the mile challenge in 14:17. That's damn close to what I ran a mile at this morning. I vow to step things up a notch. He picks Shay as his partner. Reasonably good call.
Green: Fireman Allen and Abby the widow. Allen wants to lose weight so he can do his job of saving people without being too fat to get there in time. Abby lost her entire family in a car accident two years ago, including her infant. I don't know how she gets up in the morning. Sounds like often, neither does she.
Red: Sean the youth pastor with the unfortunate hair and Antoine, who looks like Chris Rock plus 150 lbs. I have to say I called Sean as gay the second I saw him on screen. Time will tell.
Black: Alexandra, a very pretty girl with a very pretty tattoo (is it an orchid? a butterfly? I can't tell but I like it a lot) teams up with Julio. Julio immediately puts me off, although I couldn't say why.
Brown: Liz, a 49 year old grandmother with NINE grandkids (are they bunnies? WTF?!?) pairs up with Danny, a musician with an unfortunate soul patch. I have a feeling Liz will go down early in the competition. She just seems too nice.
Pink: Amanda, "America's choice" from last season's finale and Rebecca, a goth nanny who wears the biggest damn earrings to the weigh in I've ever seen. I wanted to know how much the earrings weighed.
Blue: Early on, my favorite team. Dina and Rudy. They did a big part of the mile together, encouraging each other all the way. He seems like a genuinely nice guy.
Purple: This is the last team formed and is comprised of Coach Mo, who got sent to the hospital after the mild, and Tracey, who got flown unconscious to the hospital. Coach Mo gets sprung at the end of the first day (I think, could be the second day), which Tracey never returns that week.
First weigh-in. Everybody is heavy. Lots of babies got back. There are moobs a'plenty, but none as frightening as Evil Ron's from last season. Speaking of which: Ron was evil.
Was there a challenge in there somewhere? Or was it just beatings, beatings, beatings? I think the latter. There is no Bob vs. Jillian this year. Guess he got tired of losing. He and Jillian are training the teams together. There are many F-bombs, mostly from Bob and Jillian, during the workouts. Also vomit.
Final weigh-in: Black team falls below the yellow line. I think Alexandra deserves to stay. She lost a lot more weight than the heavier Julio (who I keep wanting to call Mario).... plus I just don't trust him. He reminds me of my ex-boyfriend. Seems really nice at first, but with a spine of jell-o and a whole lot of selfishness disguised as caring for everyone else. The teams don't agree with me and Alexandra goes home. Boo! I predict Julio's slimy colors will show through and they will regret not having voted him out early on. Alexandra looks great after losing 60 lbs at home and apparently she has a secret crush on another player that will be revaled at the finale. I'm guessing it's either Daniel or Antoine as I think all the other men are married. Or, hey, it could be Rebecca. You never know.
Things I learned from this week's episode:
- This is a choice you have to make. No one can make it for you. No one can help you until you make the choice.
- Their problems are not your problems.
- I don't need to see or hear other people vomit. Ever.