Aww, you didn't think I'd forget, did you? Actually I did until I was looking at the guide last night. I was tired but I stayed up just for you. My three fans.
Okay, on with the show!
We open with a recap of last week's premiere. Alexandra's leaving and Julio's ass-hattedness. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This week, if the 15 players lose a combined total of 150 lbs, no one goes home. Remember that week two is notorious for miniscule (relatively speaking) losses. Jillian and Bob are not thrilled about this development. Neither are the players.
I still really like Rudy. He's just an all-around nice guy. Meanwhile, Julio is an ass hat. Someone mentions how they take in 1,200 calories a day but are supposed to have 6,000 calories going out. Are you kidding me? Okay, I burned about 530 calories this morning for 3.79 miles. I would have to do more than ten times more than that to burn 6,000 calories. Yikes!
The contestants strategize how they will make this 150 lb goal. (ooh, there's a woodpecker outside my office window) Hey, Tracey lives! Everyone else thinks Julio is an ass hat too. Shay's milkshake is better than yours. I like Daniel too, he has a great attitude and I bet he'd be a great trainer. Since he's survived a week two last season, the players look to him for guidance. He says, don't expect much in week two. Some people may gain weight. I hope it's Julio.
Nutrition challenge. The cute Aussie chef from last season (he's hot, I can't be bothered with names) is back and he lectures about calories and stuff (hot, remember?). I'm also reading my ChiRunning book while watching. The players are quizzed on what they just learned. Hopefully they were paying more attention. If they get five out of eight questions right, they win a 15 lb advantage at weigh in. They win. Now they have to lose 135 lbs this week.
Group challenge! There are balance beams and rafts and water and odd looking life jackets. Everyone has to get out on the balance beam, and once they are all balancing then they can get onto the raft thingy. First and second rafts, they win a 5 lb advantage for each. Third raft is calls home, fourth raft is a 10 lb advantage and that happy feeling you get from working as a team. Each balance beam gets progressively more narrow. Any one falls off and the game is over for all. Everyone really wants calls home. I briefly wonder who Abby has to call. Long story short, everybody makes it. They can't wait to reach out and touch someone.
Flashes of family as they make the calls. Allen has a hot wife. Abby makes us all cry. Appropros of nothing, she reminds me of Goldie Hawn. I may have spelled some of that wrong. Danny tells of how he knew he needed to change when his little girl told him she wanted a big belly just like him. That reminds me of when I was growing up. My best friend was a big girl. I was skinny; people thought my mother never fed me (seriously). I wanted to be just like her so I ate a lot. This did not stand me well when puberty came knocking. Anyhow, back to the show. Sean's wife is pregnant and has found out they're having a girl. I hope Sean makes it to makeover week just so he can get a new haircut.
Beatings commence. Julio talking heads about how there is a rift in the house because he stayed and Alexandra left. Yeah, that and you're an ass hat. Every time he's on camera he's not doing diddly and everyone notices. Jillian wants Bob to kill Julio with workout. Bob is game.
Weigh-in. With the challenge wins, they have to lose a total of 115 lbs. Shay is with me in hoping that Julio gets a bad number. I'm hoping he gains weight. Rudy has a mole under his left moob that I hope he's had checked out because it doesn't look good. Except for the pink team, everyone pulls decent numbers for the second week. Even Julio unfortunately; he loses 19 lbs and blathers on about how he does all of his workouts secretly and that's why everyone thinks he's not doing anything. Whatever, ass hat. The contestants meet their 115 lb goal, and in fact lose a total of 155 lbs. No one is going home this week. Oh well. They've got Julio in their sights now.
P.S. I've noticed I seem to get a lot of hits whenever I mention dog pee, so here you go: DOG PEE.