Monday, November 30, 2009

A quick note

I got out of work late and then had to run some errands so as it's after 8:00 p.m. and I haven't eaten dinner yet, this will be quick. 

My new weight should be up on the sidebar -- 186.0.  That is a 1.6 lb weight loss for the month.  A little disappointing but it is TOM right now and we just had Thanksgiving so I'll take it.  I'll write more about calories, etc. later this week, after I've actually eaten my calories for the last meal of the month.  I also took my measurements and again I blame TOM; virtually no change.  I'll write more about that too.

I took some new pics, one is on the sidebar already.  The pic from the side didn't come out so well; I'm using a new camera and I can't manage to stand sideways and take a picture so I'm twisting and it distorts the image.  But I think my ferret looks smaller, don't you? 

Since it's a new month, that means it's time for the CilleyGirl to try out a new food diary.  So far I like it.  I put up a weight loss ticker from there but I will need to switch it out for a different one; that one is too wide (ironically enough) for a three column blog. 

I've got lots more to write about -- new followers, my very first award! -- but I'm starving and there will be a fish stick incident to cap off my November goals.  Oh well.  Some times you just gotta have the fish sticks.

the CilleyGirl

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Baby don't nap

I'm not a napping person.  If ever I fall asleep reading a book or watching TV or basically doing anything other than laying in bed trying to sleep, then it's a sign I'm not feeling so well.  I fell asleep on the couch this afternoon listening to Spike read to me.  Apparently, I'm not feeling so well.  Oh well.  It doesn't seem to be E.coli so that's good. 

The long weekend is sadly coming to a close.  I hope I can get easily back into the rhythm of the crazy.  Thirty-one days until our deadline and the end of the crazy.  In between now and then, I'll have four days off at most, and one of those will be Christmas.  It's a challenge I look forward to meeting, but at the same time I am not looking forward to the mental and physical exhaustion that goes with it. 

I realized today that when I switched over to the new blog template I forgot to add back my countdown to Eugene widget.  It's back up now.  I also put together my training plan so that I knew when I would need to start.  I looked around at some other plans, like Runner's World, but decided to go with the one I planned originally, from The Non-Runner's Marathon Trainer.  It's a 16 week program so that has me starting as of January 10.  Some nice symmetry there:  1/10/10.  It doesn't do tempo runs or easy runs or intervals or hill training.  It's goal is to get you to complete a marathon.  It's perfect for me because I don't want to do tempo runs or easy runs (okay, I want easy runs but you know what I mean) or intervals or hill training.  Maybe after my first marathon.  Once I'm out of the hospital.

Tomorrow is the last day of November so the last day for my November goals.  I'll do my weigh in Monday or Tuesday and take my measurements.  Later in the week I'll recap how I did on my goals, plus put up my December goals.  I've been thinking about taking a short time out, but feel I should stick to my goals right now.  Maybe around the first week of January, once the crazy time is over and before the official marathon training begins.

the CilleyGirl

Saturday, November 28, 2009

Spike in my ear, my 100th post, and thanks for the timely E.coli warning Portland!

Riddle me this, Batman:  How exactly am I supposed to wash my hands or clean my dishes to avoid E.coli contamination when it's the wash water that is contaminated with E.coli?  *sigh*  If you live in the Cilleyland metro area, particularly the west side, then you have probably heard that our water tested positive for E.coli contamination.  You may have also heard that the first positive test came several days ago.  Apparently it takes two positive tests before they declare it actually contaminated.  Unfortunately we've all been drinking the water in the interim.   So I'm sitting here boiling water because I wasn't thirsty until I realized that I had no water I could safely drink.  After having a slightly upset stomach. 

We were out for sushi (on the west side) when we heard about the contamination.  Our waitress brought my soda and explained why it had no ice cubes.  It was all news to us; my friend's husband promptly took out his iPhone to confirm the news.  A short while later a woman at a table behind us called over the waitress and said in a somewhat pissy voice "Perhaps you misunderstood me.  I asked for ice water."  The waitress basically replies, "Perhaps you misunderstood me; I'm trying to keep your prissy ass from dying, bitch."  Or maybe she just explained apologetically why she had not given this woman some ice.  But I prefer my version better.

Anyhow, my beverage choices at the moment are:  boiling hot water, milk, or diet soda.  I guess I'm having milk.  Even the dogs aren't supposed to drink the water right now.  Humph. 

This could all be why I've felt a little off all day long.  I headed out for a run but just couldn't get my rhythm going.  I felt like a puppet with a string cut.  Maybe a puppet with a peg leg and a string cut.  Or maybe a quasimodo puppet with a peg leg and a string cut.  With big boobs swinging in the opposite direction from my gait.  Yes, that's it.  Also, it was damn cold out due to all the damp.  The damn damp.  Either way, I managed a little over three miles, nearly all of it walked. 

Then I went home and had Spike in my ear.  Not a spike, but Spike.  Or rather, James Marsters, the yummy actor who played Spike on Buffy and Angel.  In addition to being a big Whedon fan, I'm also a fan of Jim Butcher's Harry Dresden books -- Harry is my imaginary boyfriend -- and James Marsters does the audiobooks.  I was a little sad at first that he uses his own, Spike accented-less voice, but his reading is so well done that I quickly got over it.  His voice can be very intimate as he reads.  It's delicious.  I spent a couple of hours laying on my couch this afternoon, snuggling with the dog, staring at nothing outside the window and listening to James Marsters murmur Harry Dresden in my ear. 

I am so thirsty.  Why didn't I buy some bottled water when I was just at Target? 

Wrapping up, I learned as I logged in to write this post that my last post was number 100.  Woo hoo!  Who would've guessed I had that much to say?  Nah, that one's easy.  The real question is, who would've guessed that somebody else would be reading it?  I'm so happy for my Cilley readers, some days knowing that I will come here and be accountable to you is all that gets me up and going.  And I don't make friends easily at all, but I've started to make connections with other Cilleyland bloggers and runners and hopefully will soon meet some of them in person.  Where hopefully they won't run away screaming. 

On that note, I am off to find a beverage.

the CilleyGirl

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Happy Thanksgiving!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful holiday -- even if it's not a holiday where you are :)  Mine so far has been fabulous.  Let's see....  Getting up at 6:00 a.m. on very little sleep, driving in the dark and the rain to the zoo, sitting in my car in the rain waiting for the turkey trot to start, running around the parking lot of the zoo in the rain waiting for the turkey trot to start, running the turkey trot in the rain (noticing a theme??), running down the hills in the rain, mostly running up the hills in the rain, finishing in the rain, walking around the zoo to check in with my animal pals in the rain, enjoying the wonderful heated enclosures that got me out of the rain, and last but not least, driving back home in the rain.

Oh, did I mention it rained for our race?  *grin*  Actually it wasn't all that bad.  It rained somewhat heavily for about 30 seconds in the middle of the race (just as we started to go back up the hill), the rest of the time it was a light but steady rain.  The race was not four miles as I had thought (and I swear they said), but instead was 4.4 miles.  My iPod registered it as 4.37 miles.  I did bring a nice dry rainjacket and my camera to go through the zoo afterwards, but the race finishes deep in the zoo (by the elephant habitat) and I didn't want to walk all the back out to my car (in the rain) to get either item.  Instead I just walked around the zoo seeing who was out in the cold and rainy weather.  My otter buddy Eddie -- no idea what his name is, but we've agreed his name is Eddie -- was having a blast.  He loves the cold and the rain.  I was thoroughly frozen by the time I stopped to say hello to him (he was my last stop on the way out).  Now I'm semi-dry, sort of warm, and ready to chow down on some MickeyD's. 

I did the 4.37 miles in 0:53:50, so just over a 12 minute mile average.  Except for the few really steep portions of the hills, I ran the whole thing.  Learned I need to do some hill work -- going down the hills, not up.  At least when it's wet, my brain tells me I'm going to slip and fall and so I'll start doing this odd stride that my knees do not enjoy.  I need to learn to trust myself going down wet hills.

Saw a woman with the oddest running stride I think I've ever seen, and that includes that woman with the crutch from a few races ago.  Ladies, remember in grade school we had this piece of playground equipment that was a short length of rope with a loop on one end and a small ball on the other?  You put the loop around one ankle and then did sort of a Jerry Lewis-style motion with your feet to get the rope and the ball to spin around your ankle while you jumped over it with your other leg.  That motion with your feet?  That's how this woman was running.  Her knees were nearly together while her feet kicked up and out to the sides at about a 45 degree angle.  It amused me for at least a mile.

Okay, I need some food and then maybe a nap, then it's off to dinner with friends.  Happy holiday!

the CilleyGirl

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

I survived Wednesday!

I made it through work, a busy busy busy day but we were able to have a quick cocktail break before we headed out for the weekend.  Now it's four days off!  I met with the trainer tonight, good meeting but I don't think it will be something I can afford outside the two visits included in my membership when I signed up.  A session on its own is more than the monthly dues.  I think I'll be continuing to train as I have been, maybe be able to do a session or two down the line if my program needs tweaking. 

I'm exhausted but the pumpkin cheesecake has another 30 minutes in the oven before I can even begin to head off to bed. I made some adjustments to the recipe to trim some of the calories; a 1/12th slice now equals 380 calories. No idea what it was to start with (I should calculate that), but I changed the three packages of cream cheese to be one regular cream cheese, one neufchatel, and one cup of lowfat ricotta cheese. One package of regular cream cheese is 800 calories versus 200 calories per one cup of lowfat ricotta. That means that the original recipe calls for 2100 calories of cream cheese versus the 1560 calories I actually used. Isn't that amazing? If that swap works taste-wise as well as I think it will, next time I'll do two cups ricotta and one package neufchateal, which would cut another 360 calories. I also swapped two of the eggs (there's four total) for 2/3rds of a cup of egg substitute. That cut an additional 60 calories.  I could have also swapped the butter used for the crust (over 1/2 cup) for margarine or even something like Smart Balance to go even lighter.   Maybe next time.

I'm off to get packed up for tomorrow's race.  The last four-miler I did was Lacamas Lake.  Thanks to a zillion degrees heat and that HUGE hill at the end I finished in 1:01.  I'm aiming for under an hour tomorrow.  It is supposed to be 49 with a slight chance of rain, so ideal running conditions.  I went for the tech tee option and I love the shirt, it's a pretty shade of forest green.  It may clash pretty spectacularly with my fuchsia sneaks (sorry Tall Mom!) but that's how it goes. 

I wish everyone a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend!  For everyone who is running tomorrow, happy trotting!

the CilleyGirl

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

I'm fairly certain I don't have a dipstick...

Aren't I amusing?  Yeah, don't answer that.  Oh wait, I forgot to set up the joke first.  This morning, I went in to the doc's for the annual check under the hood.  Always so much fun, what with the poking and the prodding and none of it in a good way.  My left arm also got fairly abused, what with the blood pressure cuff twice, a flu shot, and the blood draw.  It could just be my big, meaty moose arms but I wonder if those cuffs have latex in them?  They always turn my arm a bright red that lasts for a while, and since I have a latex sensitivity that would explain it. 

The injection site is pretty sore, as they advise will happen, but who wants to lay bets on whether I will be one of the lucky people who go through all the "you may experience the following symptoms after receiving your flu shot"?  Put me down for $20.  I have a pretty good sore throat developing, although that could be from when I nearly hacked up a lung earlier this morning after inhaling my glass of water.  Yes, like Ted Stryker, I have a drinking problem.  I foresee tea with honey in my near future.  I'm also getting a headache, but hey it just wouldn't be a day ending in "y" if I didn't have a headache. 

I talked with my doctor about marathon training and fitness in general, and she recommended that to lose weight I should cut my calories to 1500 a day.  I'm typing it out here for accountability purposes, because I'm really wishing I didn't have such a good memory and that I could forget she ever said that.  I've done 1500 calories a day before and I did lose weight, but -- and let's do a big BUT, shall we? -- I was doing zero exercise at the time.  I ran yesterday and was starving all day, even with taking in about 1900 calories.  She did say that on the days I run that I could have some extra calories, then she added that by extra she meant maybe 100 calories or so.  That would be my pre-run granola bar right there. 

I've been meaning to write about holiday meal strategies, so this seems like a good segue into that.  Many of my fellow bloggers are discussing how to handle the holiday meals when you're counting calories and striving to lose weight.  Most are along the lines of, don't go nuts.  Not the food, as in "cwazy."  Yeah, I got that part.  The suggestion that has stuck most in my mind comes from Sean who adds extra calories to his daily allowance on those days.  I am thinking I will do a variation of that, where I have X number of extra calories in the week.  As I've mentioned, this is my insane time of year due to work.  Thankfully, I don't have all that family crap to deal with on top of that or I would be climbing a bell tower with a sniper rifle.  No one lives nearby and except for Thanksgiving and Christmas I just don't answer the phone.  Helps that I turn off the ringer on a daily basis and frequently forget I haven't it back on the rest of the year.  Anyhow, I will be doing as much preventative meal planning/taking meals to work as I can but there will come a point where I am likely to be eating other things like cheese, wine, chocolate, bread -- all that good nosh food that shows up often in our office. 

As far as reducing calories goes, for December I will make it a goal to reduce my calorie intake to 1750-1800 calories a day.  In January, after seeing how that goes weight-wise (and how close or far away I end up to that calorie number, plus I'm going to start weight training at least one day a week soon) my goal will be to go to 1750-1800 officially.  I'll see how that goes and if I'm still not losing weight (I'm talking about only one to two pounds max per week) then I'll go down to 1500-1600.  If I'm still not losing any weight there, then I will eat a large thin crust pizza and the biggest order of BBQ wings I can find and then I will go back to my doctor.  Otherwise, I'm scheduled to go back two days after Eugene, provided I am not otherwise dead.

I know my weak spot diet-wise is dinner.  I almost always bring my lunch to work each day, and on weekends I tend to eat a bigger brunch rather than breakfast and dinner, thereby eliminating some of those typical temptations (breakfast is probably my favorite meal of the day).  But when I'm tired and hungry, it's easy to load my plate up for dinner, conveniently forgetting how yuck I will likely feel after eating too much so late in the day.  I've been trying to make sure to eat each bite completely before forking up another, going slow in my eating to allow myself to feel full.  I want to stick to a reasonable serving size with the idea that if I still feel hungry 20 minutes or so after eating that I can have more.  I often stick with a reasonable sized dinner with the idea that afterwards I will have some sort of a treat; many times I forget about having dessert all together until I'm getting ready for bed an hour later.  Some or all of these practices may become a goal for December. 

Until then, it's time for my lunch.  Have a great day!

the CilleyGirl

In other news, I spoke with the personal trainer yesterday and it turns out, as I suspected, that she thought we made the appointment for 6:15 PM whereas I thought it was for 6:15 AM.  We're now back on for tomorrow evening, which we repeated to each other several times.  All should be well.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Stood up! (sob) (sniff) (sob)

Actually it wasn't all that big of a deal, but I was stood up this morning by the trainer at the gym.  It might have been a big deal except that having this appointment this AM was probably the only thing that got me into the gym this morning (I worked 53.2 hours in the past seven days, I'm a bit knackered) so other than being a bit wary now about the professionalism of the trainer I was meeting with I was okay with being stood up.  I had brought my iPod along just in case I was going to be doing any sort of running, so I swapped my notebook for it and off I went.  And............. dun dun dun!!!!!  (cue the fanfare)  I again topped my 5K time!!  Yes, the personal best I set on Saturday fell with a crash this morning as I ran 5K in 0:36:26.  How awesome is that??  Yay me!  We don't need no steekin personal trainer!

I'll try to ease off on the exclamation points for the rest of the post.  And before I do that, a big hello! and welcome! to new follower Radioactive Girl!  Let me just go check your blog out really quick....  Wow, I've never come across one that had an adult content advisory.  Woo hoo!  This I've got to check out.  I am not going to get any work done today, am I?  *snerk*

Okay, on with the show.  As I mentioned before, this Thursday is the turkey trot at the zoo.  What I didn't know until just now is that Thursday will also be the BEAST FEAST at the zoo: 
On Thanksgiving weekend, come watch your favorite zoo residents dive into "dinner." Animals receive a cornucopia of enrichment treats. Great photo opportunities -- bring your camera!
Which reminds me -- did you hear about how a deer got into the lion enclosure at some zoo and the lions were all Woohoo!  Snack time!  My friend D told me about that at dinner last Friday; I'm going to have to find the video for it.  Apparently, everyone watching (this was when the zoo was open) was horrified.  You know, because Simba was trying to eat Bambi.  Me, I would've been rooting for the lions.  And laughing.  And taking pictures.  At dinner on Friday, we were all going "Didn't any of these people watch Wild Kingdom?" 

My turkey trot registration fee includes zoo admission, so I will definitely be going in after the race.  I've just got to remember to pack some warm, dry clothes and my camera.  My favorite time of year to visit the zoo is during Spring Break.  Our zoo does two weeks of spring break events and they are awesome.  Last year the theme was Pirates of the Caribbean (did I spell that right?) and whoever writes the press for these things is fabulous.  They had lorikeets walking the plank and attacking a papier mache ship filled with crickets, I wish they still had it up because I'm just not doing it justice.  The press for this year's theme, Zoo's Gone Wild, just wasn't as well written, although they did have a few good items:
Hang 10 with your Orang Friends:  Orangutans hit the beach with tropical shirts, grass skirts, palm trees, beach towels and piƱatas shaped like coconuts, crabs and sea stars.
Stuff like that.  Yes, I am easily amused.  I should take a whole day off so I can go to the next one; all the best stuff is scheduled for during the week.  Hmm, I guess they're gearing this towards children or something.  Like kids truly appreciate the zoo.  Then again, they were probably rooting for the lions too; it's only their parents who were horrified.  Kids are cool that way.
I have completely lost my original train of thought.  Choo choo!
Oh, if anyone is spending the holiday with family, you will be happy to know that the state liquor stores will be open on Friday.  They are closed on Thursday, however, so do plan ahead.
I think I've done enough damage for one post.  Break time is way way over.  Bye bye, and remember to always root for the lions!
the CilleyGirl

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Counting down to turkey day

I got my Thanksgiving shopping done today -- only needed cream cheese and pumpkin for my famous pumpkin cheesecake that I am contributing to dinner at my friend S's -- so I'm all set for the big day.  I'm going to be running the ORCC Turkey Trot at the zoo that morning, as well as participating in Alisa's inaugural virtual turkey trot

Tomorrow is my first personal trainer appointment at the gym.  I have been assembling some goals that I want to achieve over the next few months.  Right now I have:

- Maintain fitness through the end of the year and then start back with a marathon training program in January. 

- Improve my speed to an average ten minute mile.

- Improve my endurance, i.e., with hill training.

- Increase my flexibility to prevent injury.

- Strengthen low back and abs to prevent aggravation of chronic low back problems.

- Weight train once a week, focusing on upper body (particularly making my gigantic arms smaller).

I'll let you know how it goes.  I've also got some pics to put up, going back to my very first race and seeing how I have evolved since then. 

the CilleyGirl

Saturday, November 21, 2009

My fastest 5K yet, scaring myself with my reflection, and douching my nose.

And really, how could you not read after that?

Remember how I finally broke 40 minutes when I ran the EA Sports Challenge 5K earlier in the month?  But that I wasn't completely sure that I really had?  It wasn't chip timed, and I've never completely trusted timing done any other way.  (Maybe because I don't know how they do it.  People tell me it's really very accurate.)  Anyhow, so, as everyone advised me to do, I took it but in the back of my mind I just wasn't convinced.

Today, I am starting to believe that I may have very well run 0:37:51 at that race.  Because, my cilley friends, today I did a 5K in 0:36:47. 

I finally got my iPod to work correctly.  I reset it to factory settings, reoriented the footpod sensor in its pouch and snugged the pouch up against the laces.  You know, all the stuff that shouldn't make a bit of difference but, if you've grown up with computers, you know that it actually does.  And when I got up this morning, it wasn't raining.  So I put on my new fleece top -- the one I haven't gotten to wear outdoors yet since it's been raining for two weeks straight -- and headed to the college track.  Where I ran 5K, without stopping, in 0:36:47, beating my previous time by more than a minute. 

I'm sure that there are a lot of you who could run a 5K in that time with one leg tied behind your back, and I'm okay with that.  I hope to inspire all those people who are moose like me who don't believe they could ever run.  Because you can.  Who cares if you're slow?  I'm slow, and I've done 20 races this year -- heck, it took me 20 races to break 40 minutes for my 5K time -- but I never have been last.  Second to last, oh yes, but never last.  And I'd be okay if I was last.  There are some pretty freakin' fast people in Cilleyland.  Kara freakin' Goucher lives in Cilleyland.  I deal.

So, I'm beginning to believe.  I must have run faster than I thought I did at the 5K race, though, because I did walk part of that course and I?  Am a slow walker.  I did a race recently where an old woman with a crutch was faster than me.  By a lot.  And I wasn't even walking that whole race.  I am not making this up.  I checked her bib number after the race and she was like five minutes ahead of me.  But I'm laughing about that.  She had a crutch.  She didn't even walk like people with a crutch usually walk.  She had something else going on.  With a crutch.  *snerk*

Anyhow, on with the story.  A little more than an hour after I got home, had my breakfast, downloaded my results from my iPod, blah blah blah, I went to take a shower because I'm working all weekend.  I was looking down at the bathroom sink when I flipped on the light and then I looked up at my reflection and did one of those double takes.  People, my face was MAGENTA.  My entire face.  I am not making this up.  I've been flushed before -- well, to be honest, often -- after exercising.  But never quite this shade of, yes, magenta.  I was like, Holy crap!  Am I having a heart attack and don't realize it?  I did a quick check and no, except for a stiff hip I felt great.  But, as I've mentioned before, I am a pasty white girl with rosacea currently not taking the rosacea meds and running in the cold into a freezing headwind while running your fastest 5K time ever, and apparently that will turn you magenta.  I matched my shoes, that's how pink my face was.

As for why I'm not taking my rosacea meds, that's because those are a very low-grade antibiotic (rosacea is believed to be a bacterial overgrowth in the face, hence the redness -- who knew?) and I can't take them and my heavy duty antibiotics for sinus infections at the same time.  Which actually aren't working all that well.  I have the sinus infection that will not die.  Did you ever see the episode of Grey's Anatomy where this guy came in with a persistently runny nose and it turned out that spinal fluid was leaking out his nose?  Worried me to no end, let me tell you.  I'm sure that when I get my CT scan that's what they'll tell me is happening.  Or, even better, did you ever see the episode of CSI:  Original Recipe where the guy got a fungal infection in his sinuses and not only was this black goo leaking out of his eyeballs (only after he was dead, I hope) but the fungus had eaten his sinuses and his skull away so that it collapsed into itself?  Completely squicked me out.

It might help if I start up the sinus wash again.  For those of you who are lucky enough not to have regular sinus infections, or who have a low squick threshold, let me explain.  A sinus wash is where you fill a small bottle with warm water and the cleansing sinus mix stuff and then you whoosh water up one nostril to flow out the other side, in the process washing out allergens and mucous and reducing inflammation.  Basically, it's a douche for your nose.  You might have heard it called a neti pot, which involves an actual teapot looking thing, but I'm not that coordinated.  Many people swear by this.  I do find that it helps quite a bit.  But the thing is, it's not really high on my list of a good time.  The kit I got comes with premixed sinus wash stuff.  When that ran out, I put together my own; it's just a mix of salt and baking soda.  My allergist gave me a recipe for it.  And the man smokes crack, apparently.  He told me the mixture "might be a little more salty than you're used to."  Fuck that, I thought my head was going to burst into FLAME.  Tip:  do not shoot water with a high saline content up your nose.  The inside of my head was on fire, my ears were on fire (they connect to your sinuses, you know), my throat was on fire.  I was laying on the floor, beating my feet and hands against the carpet, just waiting to die.  I could not stand up, the pain was that intense.  It finally faded a smidge, such that I could stand and wash out my sinuses with plain water. 

I've got the recipe down now (not the one my allergist gave me, the sadist) but I can always tell there's baking soda in it, and not in a good way.  I imagine snorting cocaine must be similar.  But it does help and I should start doing it, if only so that I can tell my allergist that I did everything I was supposed to and I still have this sinus infection. 

Well, I hope I have entertained you today with images of my skull on fire or leaking spinal fluid or black goo.  That is what I'm here for.  In other news, I did not binge on sushi last night.  I may tonight.  On the other hand, I am trying not to binge -- as in, excessively exceed my calories for the day -- until after November 30 and my weigh in.  Hopefully I will have good results at that time that will convince me not to binge.  At least, if you eat a lot of sushi it's just sushi.  You have to eat a lot -- and I mean a lot -- to really rack up the calories.  Maybe if I make a list of what I'm going to get and then only get that; my downfall is always when I'm placing the order.  I think, let's just add one more item, and then later they're rolling me down the hall.  Okay, not that bad but you know what I mean.  I think that will be the plan.  In the meantime, I hope your day is going great!

the CilleyGirl

Friday, November 20, 2009

An update on the exploding rice

Right after I got home last night I checked the package of rice.  You are supposed to vent it before putting it in the microwave.  It's freakin' instruction number two.  Of three instructions.  They're not even complicated instructions.  They're something like:  (1) Squeeze pouch.  (2) Tear to vent.  (3) Microwave 90 seconds.  (4) Don't burn yourself, dumbass.  (That last one is made up.  There's a whole separate paragraph on how not to be a dumbass and burn yourself.)

My only excuse seems to be that before I put in the rice I had done one of those bags of veggies in the microwave that you do not vent.  So I probably only got to instruction no. 1 on the rice before I realized I should cook the rice after the veggies, which take five minutes.  Then I forgot to read the rest of the instructions.

Told you, my brain is full.

the CilleyGirl

It's that time of year again!

Nope, it's not the holidays.  It's not someone's birthday or anniversary.  It's not time for my annual physical (well, it is, but that's not what I'm referring to).  It's not even the crazy time of year at work where stress oozes from everywhere and mounds of paper are just waiting to eat me alive (well, it is that too -- our unofficial work motto is "Death to trees!" -- but again, that's not it).  It's.... it's....

It's that time of year when I start to wonder if I really need to be taking all these prescription meds.*

I take four prescription meds which are directly responsible for either preventing my death or the death of others.  (I take a fifth for that common affliction of really pale-skinned white chicks like me, rosacea, but I consider that one optional.)   On those rare occasions when I've forgotten to renew a prescription in time, or to go pick them up, I end up off them (since they tend to run out all at the same time) for a day or two.  That's when I start to think that maybe I really don't need them. 

The irony of this is that two of them keep me mentally healthy.**  It's like the people who take the serious psych meds; they feel better so they stop taking what is making them feel better.  When you're just minorly mentally ill like me (the chronic depression), you don't really realize that you are sick until you get really, really, really sick.  That's generally where the death of others or my own death comes in.  I used to laugh at the people who talked about suicide.  I wasn't laughing out loud or anything.  Usually.  I'm talking about the teenagey angst talk of suicide.  "Oh, he didn't ask me to the dance.  I should just go kill myself."  Or "Perky cheerleader tits was sooo mean to me, she told all this personal stuff and he was listening!  I should just go kill myself!"  That kind of stuff.  Not the real thing.  That I wouldn't laugh at.  Although I would have shared my personal feelings against suicide, which are:  Don't kill yourself; stick around, make life a living hell for everyone you know. 

It was when I started thinking seriously about suicide that I sought help.  That's when you're sick.  And what was my point again?  Oh yes, when you take the meds that make you feel like you're worth drawing breath every day, you tend to forget why you need those meds in the first place.  Luckily, I now have a solid gold reminder of why I need to be mentally healthy.  It's called student loan debt and it's roughly the size of a developing Third-World nation.

But the other two, those just keep me from dropping dead without any assistance from myself.  These are the ones for that favorite of all favorites for the overweight:  High blood pressure.  Well, maybe diabetes is the favorite of the favorite, but high blood pressure is the silent killer.  You get symptoms of diabetes fairly early on.  HBP doesn't really have many early warning signs.  Often the first hint of a problem is when you stroke out.  After two years of mucking around with varieties and dosages, I learned that a large percentage of the headaches that have plagued me for years are actually caused by high blood pressure.  Lovely, eh?

It's the high blood pressure meds I could live without, provided that I no longer have high blood pressure.  The other crap, that's here to stay and I'm okay with that.  I'd rather have it go away, but as I start into my 40th year of life on this rock the evidence is overwhelming that it will not.  One of these treats PCOS, polycystic ovarian syndrome (hey guys, are your privates shriveling up as you read this?  it's okay, I'll keep the girlie stuff brief), which in my opinion is really a congenital condition for me.   Granted, you have to be menstruating -- or not menstruating, as the case may be -- to get it diagnosed, but I think it's there to a certain extent from birth.  It's also hereditary.  Anyhow, for many gaining weight can cause it to manifest and losing weight can cause it to go into remission.  Not me.  I was a pretty skinny 12 year old and I had it then.  I'm a not so skinny 39 year old now and I still have it.  Glucose meds, like Metformin, reverse the symptoms in some.  Not in me.  The personal hell I go through when my PCOS is untreated is worth the $15 each month.

Again, though, the high blood pressure meds need to go.  I did briefly go to a third med for it when I was at my heaviest, but I lost some weight and was able to be off that.  Now I want the other two to go away and I'm hoping I might be working my way towards that point.  The only day I did not have a headache this week was the day I didn't take my blood pressure meds.  In the past, if I skipped one of those HBP meds I would get a raging, here-let-me-murder-you headache.  That happened even this year, after I started running.  Not this week.  I completely forgot I hadn't taken them until right before I went to bed that night.  That made me think that maybe I can kick this purple-pulsing-veiney monkey.  The Biggest Loser contestants talk about going completely off their meds all the time.  Why can't I?

In other news, I've had a craving to binge.  Not necessarily to binge on anything in particular, although I'm leaning towards pizza since it binges so well, but just a craving to binge.  I'm trying to decide if I should ignore it and maybe it will go away, or just give in and binge for one meal.  It wouldn't be a throw up binge or anything.  I've always joked that I'm a lousy bulimic because I always forget to throw up afterwards.  Just a sit down where I eat until I am full.  I'm going out for sushi after work with my friend S where I will have a lot of sushi.  I'm hoping that will satisfy my craving to binge.  Only two more hours to go!

Here's hoping everyone has a wonderful weekend.  I will be at work.

the CilleyGirl

*It could just be that I wonder if I really need to be paying for all these prescription meds, but that's another story completely.  I used to pay about $120 a month for my prescriptions.  Thankfully Walmart did their $4 deal and Freddy's followed so now I'm only around $30 a month.
**To be accurate about it, one is specifically for mental health while the other keeps physical issues in check that negatively affect my mental health when they're allowed to run amok.  Amok amok amok.

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Brain's full, I'm done.

I can't remember if I took my antibiotic this morning and then forgot I had already taken it when I went to take it later, or if I forgot to put it in with my vitamins all together. 

Then, thirty-eight minutes, fifty-nine and 44/100 seconds ago, I made some tea.  I know exactly how long ago I did this because I turned on my watch timer so I would know to go back for the tea in three to five minutes.  And it's now thirty-eight minutes and fifty-nine and 44/10 seconds later.  It's very strong tea.  It wasn't even hot any more.

And now, I realized I completely forgot to do the post I meant to do yesterday.  I had a graphic and everything.  I think it's all the crack I've been smoking.  I blame the Gazelle

So, anyhow, here's what I meant to do yesterday:

This is a screen shot that I laboriously converted (and just where did my MS Paint program go, anyway?) into something that could be posted here.  It is a screen shot from my Nutridiary program in which I keep my food diary.  (By the way, I finally found out that nobody runs this site any more so you can not upgrade.  How bizarre is that?)  I wanted to get a "clean" report where I wasn't worried it was picking up a partial day ("you have 1,000 extra calories today -- congratulations!"), and I finally managed it.

As you can see, I had two days in November where I ate exactly what I was supposed to be expending.  There were probably cookies involved (and I really do not have a sweet tooth so it's odd).  The green blips up are where I exercised; my calorie intake tends to go up correspondingly.  It's kind of cool to see it laid out like this, plus I like the summary up top.

Last night I did keep my resolution not to eat so that I was stuffed.  I baked a chicken breast, had exploding rice, corn, and even a salad.  After all that, I even left about 200 calories unconsumed for the day.  I thought about having a 100 calorie pudding snack but in the end I did not and I didn't miss it.

I am missing my lunch, however, so I will go eat that.  And try to find some room between my ears for things like work.

the CilleyGirl

My microwave is all shiny and clean...

...and let me tell you why.

Pretty much by virtue of breathing in this day and age, we all know that for a healthy body and lifestyle we should consume more whole grains.  This is easy for me in some ways -- oatmeal for breakfast, usually whole grain bread for my sandwiches -- and difficult for me in other ways.  For example, rice, brown or white, is one of my food nemeses.  I find rice on its own boring.  It needs to be in something or have something in it for me to want to eat it.  Every time I focus a little more closely on my eating habits, I swear that I will eat more brown rice.  Consequently, I tend to haunt the rice aisle at the grocery store on a rather regular basis.

Now, I am somewhat of a savant when it comes to cooking rice.  Somehow, the secrets of the universe in terms of how to cook rice properly (without a rice cooker) have been shared with me.  I don't know how, I don't know when, I don't know why, but I can make rice that is edible.  Not that I necessarily want to eat it, but there you go.  So I look at the bags of rice, but again rice is boring.  I look to the rice mixes.  I like those a lot.  I could eat a whole thing of rice-a-roni in one sitting.  Problem with that is, as you know if you've been breathing in this day and age, the sodium levels are off the charts.  And my favorite flavors (some variety of chicken) do not have whole grains.  But the other rice varieties, not necessarily the rice-a-roni brand, are usually boring.  Or I don't like them.  Again, I haunt the rice aisle. 

Recently I found a rice I really like that only takes 90 seconds in the microwave and is not only whole grain (please don't tell me if I'm wrong about that, I need my delusions) and extremely tasty but it is also decent on the sodium.  Product placement:  Uncle Ben's Ready Rice, Long Grain and Wild Rice variety.  The spices are fabulous.  No idea what they are, but it compliments a variety of main dishes.  And it's only 90 seconds in the microwave.  You don't even have to vent the package.

Hmm, or do you?  Maybe that was the problem because last night mine BLEW UP.  Exploded.  The big bang, right there in my microwave.  Thousands of little long grain and wild rice forms of life, ready to evolve EVERYWHERE.  Honestly, I'm going to have to check the package and see if I was in fact supposed to allow for a small vent in the packaging.  I've made this before without the pyrotechnics so perhaps I was just distracted.

But my microwave?  Is all shiny and clean.

I'll probably post more later today.  Til then,

the CilleyGirl

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

And I know better than not to do this but...

I skimped on the breakfast this morning and by 11:30 was dying of hunger and having all those bingey-bingey thoughts.  I neglected to take my greek yogurt out of my lunch bag before I put it away, then since I wasn't feeling all that hungry this morning I decided to wait until later to go back to the kitchen (all of 12 feet away) and grab it.  Then suddenly it's 10 AM and my tummy is growling but do I either (A) go get the yogurt or (B) eat the banana that is sitting inches away from me?  Of course not.  So by 11:30, the dying and the bingey thoughts.  That's when I made myself sit down and eat the banana.  I know better than to eat so little in the mornings.  And yet, I did it. 

I've also been having sweets, ever since my Burger King incident.  Lastly, the past few nights I have been having an extra helping of lasagna instead of taking the time to supplement the one portion with something like a salad or fruit or even a bagel.  I have the calories to have the extra lasagna, but it makes me feel overstuffed.   Last night I had the two portions of lasagna then made four cookies with the rest of the cookie dough in the fridge.  Not only has this bumped me over my calorie goal (not much, just enough) for a few days, but I think it's feeding the sweet-eating behavior.  Tonight my goal is to either make chicken (before it goes bad) with rice and veggies or have the lasagna but with a salad on the side and maybe even a bagel.

I went to bed early early last night as I had planned but then could not fall asleep for nearly two hours.  I've learned how to keep my brain off when I try to sleep but it kept switching randomly back on.  I am feeling like I am getting better but I will keep on with the extra rest.  Because I may end up working both days this weekend since I am taking the four day holiday weekend off, I need to make certain my reserves are at full strength to get through ten straight days of work.  I need some gym time in there as well. 

Well, it's about that time.  Hope everyone is having a wonderful hump day!

the CilleyGirl

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Things that occur to me on the way to the copy machine

Did you ever pop the legs off your dolls when you were a kid?  You know, the ones with the jointed, moveable legs.  Like that bitch Barbie.  And then you put them back on but they never really snapped all the way back in, or they did but then they just never moved right after that?  Like Barbie would be walking around all jerky in her high heels with her butt all stuck out and stuff.  Even more than she did before you popped her legs off, that is.  Anyhow, that?  Is how my low back feels right now.

Just thought I'd share. 

the CilleyGirl

Internal weather: Cloudy with a chance of blah

The Amazon Runner used the phrase "internal weather" today, which I feel is very descriptive.  I am still struggling with being not quite actually sick, but not getting any better either.  I had this a lot last year and the beginning of this year; I'm hoping it doesn't last as long as that would (I would spend miserable weeks in an in-between stage).  On top of it all, my low back is acting up -- maybe from laying down?  I have no idea -- so between this and that I don't feel like exercising.  I also don't want to either spread any germs I may have or pick up any new ones while my resistance is low.  Next week is the Turkey Trot and I'm starting to wonder if I'll get to run at all between now and then.   With the big hill, that worries me. 

I did make an appointment for Monday morning for one of my two complimentary personal trainer appointments.  I will only have one day off work between now and then to rest completely; six day workweeks aren't good when you're fighting a bug.  If just this low back annoyance would go away, I'd be in a lot better frame of mind.  Ah, well.  Continuing with the limiting germ exposure theme, I am not going to bellydancing tonight so I can get into bed early and pick up a couple of extra hours of sleep.  The dogs might explode in the meantime, but I will be rested.  And cleaning my carpets.

the CilleyGirl

Monday, November 16, 2009

Nothing but net on tonight's dinner

The chicken cheese lasagna I made tonight turned out fabulous.  I've linked the recipe; it's from A Taste of Home and everything I've made from them has turned out really tasty.  What I didn't know until just now is that their website lists calorie information; I've been working from a magazine "best of" type thing they put out on chicken which didn't have it.  In my lasagna, I made the following changes:  whole wheat lasagna noodles, additional 1/2 cup of mozzarella, 1% milk instead of 2% or whole, part-skim ricotta, an extra 2/3rds of a cup chicken (and, although not specified in the recipe, I used one large chicken breast and four thighs as my chicken) and probably 1/6th of the spinach (I used fresh instead of frozen, except it had started to go slimey so I only used a little).  Oh, and no onion (blechies!).  By my reckoning, a serving using my ingredients (1/8th of the recipe) is 490 calories.  By comparison, the recipe as written -- for which one serving is 1/12th of the recipe -- is 410 calories.

Mine turned out a little watery, or maybe extra juicy is a better way to put it.  After it sat a while, a lot of the liquid seemed to be absorbed so either it needed to sit longer or it really was extra juicy.  Not sure why that was, unless using 1% milk and the part-skim ricotta meant less fat for binding. 

Well, I'm off to have the dessert for which I budgeted the calories yet keep forgetting I need to go eat.  It's the half a chocolate croissant and one sugar cookie that I was eyeing all day at work.  Chocolate croissants and those particular sugar cookies (frosted) are one of my weaknesses.

the CilleyGirl

Status quo, boo hoo

I'm on DayQuil but still feel a layer of sick deep down.  It is the flu-like symptom of nausea that is the worst; everything else I can mask or ignore enough to get through my day. 

I set up a sidebar of my November goals.  I was going to do this great update how as of November 15 I was succeeding at all my goals.  And then grocery shopping last night -- where I was getting the ingredients for my chicken and spinach lasagna dinner -- wore me out, the consequence of which I went through the Burger King drive through.  Boo me.  I couldn't remember if my goal was no fast food drive throughs or no fast food, period.  If I had gone inside I would still be meeting those goals.  I also would have gotten the exact same meal inside, which put me 470 calories over for that day. 

If the report I ran through my food diary is correct, here's where I am for November 3 (when I started with that particular software) through November 15:

Average intake:  1988 calories
Average expenditure:  2659 calories
Total difference:  (9397) calories
Total estimated weight loss:  2.7 lbs.

That is if the report ran the way it says it ran.  I hopped on the scale this morning just to peek and I have not lost 2.7 lbs.  I do still feel like I look thinner, particularly around my ferret-smuggling midsection.  But I don't want to get bummed -- or complacent -- by going through all the measurements and weekly (at a minimum) weigh-ins right now.  I said for the month of November and by golly that means I will weigh and measure officially on November 30.  Or December 1.  I haven't decided yet.  Probably November 30; Mondays always have a sort of symmetry about them in the area of weight loss. 

Time for lunch!  I did drag my sick ass into the kitchen last night to make my lunch; didn't want to compound the fast food thing (and I'm sick of Subway at the moment, at least the healthy sub choices).  I'm trying a new recipe; I did big sushi twice last week and was craving crab salad sandwiches.  Not that I've ever had a crab salad sandwich before in my life.  But there you go.  I think the recipe has too much dijon in it for my taste -- I prefer more of a mayo-y flavor -- but we'll see.  I also need to figure out how many calories a serving has, since I used fake crab and lite mayo. 

Oh, and after my Brit marathon yesterday I'm fairly certain I am using "cheers" in an incorrect context (I think it's more of a "thanks!" than a "see ya!") but I just like how it sounds so....

the CilleyGirl

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Not any worse, but not any better

So I guess that's good.  Vitamin C, cold meds, and lots of rest for me.  My Brit fix is helping with the latter; five hours of New Tricks and I'm in the second hour of Miss Marple.  Pip pip cheerio and all that rot!

the CilleyGirl

Saturday, November 14, 2009

New York New York

Hey, is that the Funky Cold One I just saw popping in?

the CilleyGirl

I am not sick.

But secretly I am acknowledging that I just don't feel so good.  I had planned to run this morning, was really, truly looking forward to it as I was going to go to my neighborhood track.  It was supposed to be -- and turned out to be -- the perfect Northwest running weather; cool and overcast but DRY.  I had just reloaded my iPod with a new mix of songs and was hopeful that the damn thing would start working correctly again. 

I was sluggish last night but got to bed at a good hour and fell asleep quickly.  CBS got me up a couple of times to let her out (I'll take getting up in the middle of the night over a bed full of dog pee any day), the last time being 6:00 a.m.  I went back to bed figuring I'd get up in a couple of hours at my normal time, then go for a run. 

Next thing I know, it's almost noon and I feel like I'm reluctantly coming out of a coma.  Little appetite and my eyes are at half mast with that "I just inhaled all the dust from emptying the vacuum cleaner bag" feeling, no matter what I do.  I'm not even all that thirsty.  I had to come into work today so I still couldn't go running.  My head thinks running was a great idea but my body isn't cooperating; complete reverse of the usual.  Now I'm at work, wondering if we have any toothpicks I can use to prop up my eyelids.  I feel as if I were to lay back down I'd be out in seconds for another twelve hours.

I hope that between now and Monday I can nip this thing in the bud.  Kick it in the sac, whatever.  I will not be sick.

Sleepy cheers,
the CilleyGirl

Friday, November 13, 2009

This sort of has to do with running...

I signed up last week for the Turkey Trot that is put on here in Cilleyland on Thanksgiving (natch).  Unfortunately, that means I can not take part in the turkey trot that is being organized by bloggy friend Alisa.  I feel bad about that, as I haven't yet gotten to meet any fellow Cilleyland running bloggers.  But see, the Turkey Trot that I am doing, well, it's at the zoo.  And the zoo (a good zoo) is, after the ocean, my favorite place to be.  You should see the roughly nine zillion pictures I took at the one day I spent at the San Diego Zoo about ten years ago.

Oh, wait, San Diego.  Okay, the zoo is my third favorite place to be, right after the ocean and Sea World.  You know, I've never thought all that much about my favorite places.  Mostly because I haven't really been anywhere.  But I think it might look something like this:

1.  The ocean.  I'd say the beach, but the beach at a lake or river, while good, just isn't the same as the ocean.  I've been to the Atlantic once and while it was nice, it's just not the same as the Pacific.

2.  Sea World.  I'm not particular which one, although I've only been to the one in San Diego to date.

3.  A good zoo.  I've been to Woodland Park (Seattle), the Oregon Zoo (Cilleyland), the San Diego Zoo (guess), and the Denver Zoo.  It's my favorite place to take pictures; I have a particular talent for otter porn and for pictures of the animals' bums.  I've been meaning to e-mail a few particular pictures from one of my recent trips to the Oregon Zoo to the Gazelle.

4.  Sedona, Arizona.  I've only been once, and only got to spend a couple of hours there, but I loved the feel of the place.  I've always wanted to go back.

5.  Disneyland.  The happiest freakin' place on Earth.  Where you could practically decapitate random hospitality workers and they would still be nothing but polite to you.   They put you in a good mood simply by osmosis.  I even love the "It's a Small World" ride.  It would be great to do one of their races.  I'd include Disneyworld with this but I've never been.

6.  Universal Studios.  Just randomly cool.  Did you know that if you are unable to go down the series of escalators set into the cliff, separately the upper part from the lower part, that you can take an elevator down to a shuttle where they will then drive you through the backlots, off the tram routes, to where the escalators end?  Mostly these are people with strollers and physical disabilities, but -- and I love this -- if you are acrophobic, like I am, they will also let you take the shuttle.  Because acrophobia is really a disability when you think about it.  This phobia will physically keep me from doing certain things.  It's just like someone in a wheelchair and stairs.  A person in a wheelchair can go down stairs.  It's going to be a bumpy ride, sure, but they are physically capable of doing it.  But no one is going to make them, are they?  The same reasoning applies -- or should apply, don't get me started -- to someone with a heights phobia.  Yes, I could walk across that narrow walkway.  There is no way in hell I'm going to do it, though, because some glitch in my brain won't let me take those steps.  Hmm, now I'm really off topic.

7.  Vegas.  It's Vegas.  Enough said.

8.  Southeastern Montana.  The Force in action.  Enough said.  Plus Yellowstone is right there.

9.  Summer camp.  Specifically, Camp Sealth on Vashon Island in Washington.  At least the one that exists in my memories.

10.  Sun Valley/Ketchum.  I love it up there.  Getting a burger or prime rib at the Pioneer Saloon in Ketchum, sitting under a huge steer head.  Moooooo!  Riding horses through the Sawtooths.  I'm typically not a mountain fan -- I like the mountains but there gets to be too many trees and I start to feel claustrophobic -- but there is something about this area.  In the summer, though.  Has to be summer. 

Alright, enough for now.  I need to get out more.

the CilleyGirl

Clothes horse. Clothes cow? No, definitely a horse. A skinny, skinny horse.

Pupdate:  Still doing well.  Trying to limit her stair usage (i.e., still taking her out front rather down the stairs to the back) but otherwise she's moving around fairly good.  The front leg will continue to be an issue due to an already bad back leg, but so long as she can stay mobile and out of pain she'll do okay.

On to the rest!  As I mentioned earlier, I did some serious shopping last weekend.  Sears, baybee!  Also known as, the only department store for which I kept a credit card.  And mostly that was for non-clothes items.  Anyhow, last weekend I bought hmm, several pairs of work pants, my size-10 jeans that I do in fact fit into but are not yet ready for public consumption, and several sweaters, also for work.  I was feeling fairly guilty about spending the money, though, particularly once I thought I would have to make an emergency vet visit.  But then I got to wear my new clothes.  I had enough new clothes to wear all new clothes Monday through Thursday with the exception of one top on one day (what can I say, just wasn't in a sweater mood that morning).  And the fabulous thing was, they all made me feel really, really thin.  I'm not, but I felt that way.  Suddenly it seemed like I was no longer smuggling a ferret around my waist, or at least that it was a pretty skinny ferret.  Maybe a snake.  A thin snake.  A garter snake.  My arms -- my big, meaty jumbo-sized arms -- looked almost like normal arms.  You know, ones that aren't the size of other people's calves.  Or thighs.  Depending on the person.  I still had a tummy, but I didn't feel like everyone was wondering when the baby was due.  Or worse, whether I was gestating an elephant.  Best of all, not only did I seem to look thinner, all of the pants were just a little bit loose.  Not enough to be falling off or anything, but enough to make me feel like I was already halfway to the next size down.

It was pretty damn cool.  Although I've realized my wallet is actually thinner, no altered perception about it, I'm okay with having spent the money. 

I'm also okay with having spent the money to join the gym.  Yep, I took the plunge.  Pretty funny, though, that the muscle I pulled in Wednesday's workout has kept me from using said gym since.  Maybe it's that they told me they'd be taking my picture the next time I came in.  Now I feel like I should go in when I'm not going to work out to get the picture over with, so that I'm not stressed about looking like, well, someone who just rolled out of bed and slapped on a hat.  As I do.  Oh well.  I'll be spending more quality time with the foam roller and the heating pad again tonight (kinky!), and if it's still so stiff tomorrow I think I will be going to gym if only to use the steam room.  And maybe they have one of those stretchy machines, that are kind of like a chair crossed with a bike where you're kneeling and then you rock back in the chair for the stretch?  My chiropractor has them.  You can get a great stretch.

At least the rain should let up this weekend.  I have to put in some work hours to stay only slightly behind, but then I plan to spend some quality time with my television, satisfying my Anglophilia -- I've got at least four episodes of New Tricks to watch this weekend.  Yay for Sandra and the boys!

Break time's over!  Back to earning my paycheck.

the CilleyGirl

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Knock on wood, the pup will be okay; and an epiphany!

Schmart Dog was 500% better when I got home from work last night.  She was able to get up on her own, she wanted to walk around outside when I took her out, she had a good appetite, and then -- this was when my heart sang -- she went to her toy box, pulled out a toy and demanded I play with her.  She was even better this morning.  Whew.  I know the day will still come, sooner rather than later, that I will have to make the hard choice for her but it won't be today. 

In typical CBS style, ironically it wasn't Schmart Dog who was the reason for the pee I smelled when I got home last night.  No, that would be from CBS who let loose in her crate (meaning she forgot to do her business the second time I let her out that morning) and was soaked, simply SOAKED, chest to tail in dog pee.  So after reasurring myself that Schmart Dog was doing better, CBS got tossed into the tub for clean up (a wet washcloth wasn't going to cut it, I nearly yakked trying to clean her off with that).  Now she smells like oatmeal and I am again the daily and nightly pee warden. 

Now, on to excuses and rationalizations.  A huge, huge, HUGE weight came off my shoulders last night and a bit more came off this morning when I realized my dog was getting better.  I went to bed last night weak with relief, and also with a sore left ankle (that's new) and a tight right hip flexor from yesterday's run.  I woke up at gym time but after finding out that (A) the dog was still doing good and (B) my right bum cheek was like a rock (and not in the good way) I decided to skip the gym and get more sleep.  I will be spending some quality time with the foam roller tonight.  And hmm, that sounded just as dirty in my head.

I think the aches were from the slant of the indoor track at the corners.  Must be why they switch off clockwise and counterclockwise directions, depending on the day.  I could see where going the opposite direction would feel pretty good right about now.  Tomorrow is supposed to be my rest day, but the plan is to roll out my ass tonight and then hit the gym tomorrow instead.  I've already made an appointment for after work to do the paperwork for membership.  I am hoping I can schedule one of my complimentary personal trainer visits soon to get a training plan back together.  I hope to work on that on my end today.  I have to put in some work hours on Saturday, but I also hope to have some up close and personal time with the gym's steam room before I have to come in.

So, I had an epiphany of sorts last night as I was preparing to head home from the office.  As you recall, I made this scrumptiously delicious sweet potato and butternut gratin on Tuesday.  My stomach is growing now, just thinking about it.  I was looking forward to having some for dinner all day yesterday.  I had taken out some nice, big sea scallops (which I LOVE) to defrost and I was going to have those as well.  I figured it would take me 15 minutes, max, to get dinner together and most of that would involve sauteeing/poaching the scallops.

Yet about 30 minutes before I left, I thought about stopping at Subway on the way home and picking up dinner.  I really, really wanted to do that.  Immediately after that thought, I asked myself why?  Why did I want to stop and spend money I don't really have to spare on an ordinary, albeit healthy and tasty, dinner when I basically had one waiting at home for me?  I realized the answer was:  Because it wasn't going to be waiting at home for me.  Even though preparing it would be quick and easy, and the dinner would be delicious and healthy, I was the one who had to do it.  No one else.  Just like every other single night.  And day.  And in between.

See, I realized that what I really wanted was someone else to do it.  In other words, I wanted someone else to take care of me.  I wanted to come home and have dinner ready to eat, and by the way whoever had dinner waiting had also done the laundry, fed the dogs, taken them out, vacuumed, made my lunch for me for tomorrow and ran me a hot bath.  Except until age eight and for an eight month period or so back in -- sheesh, what year was that? -- hmm, late 2005, I haven't had anybody who even remotely would do that.  Age eight, people.  Growing up, if I didn't feed me then I wouldn't be getting any dinner until past eight o'clock in the evening after my parents got home and made it.  Oh, and usually made stuff that I didn't like and/or that would make me ill if I did eat it (me and onions do not get along). 

Isn't that amazing?  It's not really the food itself I want, or even the good feelings that come from the taste of food you're craving.  I just want someone else to do it.  Feed me a salad, it doesn't make a difference, as long as I didn't have to make it. 

Now I'm going to ask myself, what do I want more?  Do I want to spend time and money, and more often than not make a poor nutritional choice, to get food simply because I didn't have to make it, or do I want to be healthy and fit and lose weight?  Oh, and not have that horrible feeling later of being overstuffed  -- at Arby's?  I will order two sandwiches and two sides and often a shake to eat by myself in one sitting -- and then sleeping badly because my acid reflux is raging.  This is what has been going through my head in the past, and I can't believe it took me nearly 40 years to realize that.  I usually understand why I do most things (whether I give a crap is another story, but I do understand), but this has completely escaped me.   Some days it may be a challenge to answer with that I want to be healthy and fit and lose weight, but at least I will understand why I've made the choices I have in the past and can work towards making better ones in the future.

Wow.  Yay me!

Cheers (and I'm ready for lunch now -- which I got up early this morning to make since I blew that off last night),
the CilleyGirl

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Slowly getting through the day

No change on the pup's condition.  If she's still the same tonight then tomorrow or Friday will be vet day and it may be her time.  She is in pain right now and has almost nil quality of life like this.  She's 13 and too old for surgery, and even if she got through a surgery okay she still has a bad back leg.  My poor puppy.  Unfortunately I've gotten easier with losing pets over the past few years; I lost my 14 year old cat last August, two of my parents' cats (who were 20) went earlier this year and their older Lab went last year as well. 

Okay, on to other distractions.  Did the gym tryout this morning and everything went well despite my state of mind about the pup.  The indoor track is short -- 12 laps equals a mile -- so I did a lot of laps in my 45 minute run but it wasn't any more boring than making larger circles around a standard track.  It was nice to be inside and able to wear a short-sleeve shirt to run in.  I wore my Mizuno running pants and those were a little too warm so I'll switch back to my spandex capris from this spring and summer. 

My Nike+ still isn't working, even with the new sensor.  Consequently I have no idea how long I ran this morning.  My best guess, from when the iPod glitched on occasionally, is that I was running roughly one lap per minute, give or take.  I slowed down towards the end -- had a small muscle cramp in my hamstring this morning which led to me favoring it a little in my run which led to the achy hip I have now -- plus I felt like I was pushing the pace in the beginning so I estimate I did between 40 and 45 laps.  With each lap 1/12th of a mile, that's 3.33 to 3.75 miles so I logged it in at 3.5 miles.  

I logged onto the Apple support boards again and annoyingly this seems to be a common glitch.  I say annoyingly because there still isn't a fix for it.  As another person on the boards says, that kind of thing is expected for Microsoft but not Apple.  I can't even tell for certain if it's a glitch in the iPod itself or, since I replaced the sensor, in the Nike+ chip.  Even more annoying, Chip is speaking to me again but saying things I don't want to hear. 

And who wants to keep track of how many 1/12th of a mile laps they've run?

As for the gym on the whole, it was nearly empty at 6 AM.  I pretty much had the track to myself until close to 7.  The locker rooms SUCK.  Other than the ineffective layout of the gym pre-renovation (tons of wasted space with six racquetball courts popular when the thing got built that barely get used in the '00 decade), the locker rooms need it the most (I'm speculating on the men's locker room here).  My high school had better lockers.  I've seen the drawings for the upgrades and I can't wait until they're done.  Let's see, what else?  Ten minute drive to and from like I thought.  Plenty of parking at 6 AM.  I was done and home by 7:20.  In my training, I shouldn't need much more than an hour for my weekday runs.  I'm going to try to run outside somewhere like the Springwater Corridor as much as possible for my longer Saturday runs -- I've got the damn gear now -- but the gym will be a nice alternative in crappy weather. 

Break is over.  Back to work!  Depending on how the pup thing goes, I may be a little quiet for a few days.  Running this morning was a good way to burn off some of the stress.  I almost bagged it but realized all I'd be doing is sitting and worrying.  I try not to worry about things I have no control over, if I can help it.  A lesson learned long ago.  Unless something goes horribly wrong I'll be back at the gym tomorrow morning.  My hip isn't thrilled at the prospect but I am.

the CilleyGirl

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

A challenging end to my day

Today was my early day, in order to get to dance class.  I got lots done at work with only average stress, so that was good.  I got out on time and came home to find that Schmart Dog can't really get up right now.  She's always had a bad left hind leg since I've had her (about five years, she was about 8 when she came to live with me) and now she has what I'm hoping is a temporary strain to her right front leg.  She didn't even lift her head up when I came in the door, just thumped her tail.  She got up but was limping heavily -- she can't put full weight on her back leg and now she can't put weight on her front leg on the opposite side.  I  have stairs going down to the yard and she can't get down those right now so it's been challenging.  I'm trying not to imagine the worse, but financially I can't do a big vet bill and that is weighing heavily on my mind.  Do I lose my dog because I can't afford to fix her?  Argggh.  I got her to get down an aspirin and I've been massaging her leg and shoulder so I hope that helps and that this is all just temporary.  If it's not, I just don't know what I will do.

Well, to try to hit a lighter side and take my mind off things, I visited the gym I'm interested in last night and even before they've done their renovations it's pretty good.  It will be great once they finish everything.  Y'all, they will have cardio machines with their own TV screens.  You can get TV or plug in your iPod and see that on the screen.  They have a virtual personal trainer and it talks to you and you can choose different scenarios and then plug in different visuals to go with them.  Amazing.  I got a three-day pass so tomorrow I'm going to go run there and see how it goes.  The indoor track is the biggest selling point for me; I have a treadmill at home but I've outgrown it training-wise.  The track at the college is so very close, a ten minute walk each way, but I really do not like getting there or running in the dark since there are a lot of wooded areas close by.  The gym should be a 15 minute drive max each way around 6:00 a.m.; it's a straight shot down Barbur from me if you're a Cilleyland person.   Plus free parking -- and out of the rain!  My mom said she'll chip in a for a couple of months of dues and right now I can sign up with only a $1 enrollment fee plus lock in pre-construction rates; about $65 per month now versus the $85-$90 they anticipate once the renovations are complete.

Can you tell I'm about 98% convinced I'm joining?

Since I didn't go to class tonight to stay home and keep an eye on my pup, I took advantage of the extra time to make a recipe I found in the November issue of Cooking Light:  Sweet Potato and Butternut Gratin.  Oh my freaking god.  It turned out AMAZING.  Like, words can not describe the amazing of this dish.  Best of all?  As written, it's only 220 calories per 1/2 serving.  I say as written because I made some changes.  The store was out of pancetta when I was shopping for this so I used one slice of thick cut bacon.  No idea how the calories compare beween those two, but I also cut the butter down to 1 tablespoon (figured bacon had more grease than pancetta) and then used 1% milk instead of 2%.  My best guess is that either the calories would work out exactly the same or else I might have even shaved a few.  These were so good that I had a 1 cup serving for dinner AND I just logged in my calories for the day to see if I had room to eat more.  (I do, a whole 'nother 1 cup serving plus I'm having a glass of milk with it!)

And now I'm going to do just that so my computer can reboot itself.  And try to think only happy thoughts that my puppy will be well and fine soon.  And watch The Biggest Loser then get my bum to bed for workout tomorrow. 

the CilleyGirl

Monday, November 9, 2009

I think the comments are working now

Thanks for all of the off blog comments from everyone!  I think the comments are working again; I turned off the word verification to see if that would fix the problem.  It let me post a comment, hopefully it works for everyone!

the CilleyGirl

Monday Monday, and here's hoping amoxicillin kills the mold I'm eating

First and foremost, welcome to new follower Patsy!  Hi there!  If you have a blog, please post a link in the comments so I can go read you.

I think this brings the grand total of my fans to:  eight.  (There are some that lurk but I know who you are.)  Woo hoo!

Well, it's another rainy Monday and I'm at lunch.  I figured this would be a good way to ignore the fact that I am eating a bun from which I had to scrap off a couple of little mold spots last night.  I'm on serious antibiotics right now so that should kill any creepy crawlings, right?  Right???   I had planned to have the rest of my pulled chicken for lunches this week then discovered last night that the remaining buns had started to mold.  Bastards.  I, having not known this previously, accordingly did not pick up any more buns at the store over the weekend.  Today's bun was salvageable (provided you ignore the ick factor) but the rest went into the garbage and the pulled chicken went into the freezer.  Oh well, lunches for a later date.  Chicken salad got moved up in the rotation for the rest of the week. 

In a disturbing aside, one of the satsumas I grabbed for my lunch had also started to mold.  This is the problem with being single and buying food:  stuff often goes bad more quickly than you can eat it.  I love satsuma season, but I buy a box of them (about 25 of the suckers in there) and always have to toss out five or six.  They've been living in my pantry, apparently it's time to relocate the healthy ones to the crisper drawer in the fridge.  I like my oranges cold anyhow so it's a win-win for me.

In case you're wondering (or even if you're not --- muwahahahahaha!!!!), lunch today is:  black pepper and molasses pulled chicken (made from scratch) on a pub bun with half a slice of deli swiss cheese, a satsuma, and carrots with a smidge of yogurt-based ranch dressing.  Because I can't eat naked carrots.  It's too carroty.   Total calories:  655. 

I ran a report through my food log (nutridiary, see the link on the side) to see how I did on my first week of food logging (this runs November 2 through 8).  My average intake was 1,868 calories.  My average expenditure was 2,685 calories.  Total difference was (5,718) calories, which the program estimates should have lost me 1.6 lbs.  I'm not weighing myself until November 30 so we'll see.  But so far, so good!

I've got an appointment after work tonight to check out the gym I'm interested in joining.  I got to tell my mom about the plan briefly; once I have more info I can see where I'm at.  My friend S also said she and her husband would chip in as my Christmas present.  My grandmother would probably also help as well.  Plus I'll have overtime coming at the end of November and at the end of December as well.  Now I just need to see how it works into my schedule; can I get done what I need to get done and still get to work on time?  The dogs and my breakfast can be a big factor in this. 

Off to eat my 655 calorie lunch.

the CilleyGirl

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Got it pretty much all together now

I got the widgets back up; what do you think? 

Had a busy afternoon of shopping, shopping, shopping with my friend S.  I got a polartec shirt for running in inclement weather.  Has the fingerholes in the cuffs, which I think will work out well since I'm not a fan of gloves the majority of the time.  (I have the same thing about slippers; love slippers but can almost never stand to wear them.)   The large fit, but I got the extra-large due to my extra-large breastage and because I want to layer a short sleeve or tank tech tee underneath for wicking.  I would do a long sleeve tech underneath too but I don't have one that fits snugly enough.  I also picked up a fleece beanie with a wicking liner; it's a pink Race for the Cure one.  Never did look in a mirror to see how it looks, but I usually don't care anyhow.

I also went gangbusters at the department store, thanks to the early Veterans' Day sales.  I am happy to report that I can fit into a pair of size 10 Levi 515s.  I can even bend over and sit down in them and I don't have a muffin top.  But they're otherwise pretty much painted on.  I bought them any way as another pair of goal jeans, but these are ones I'll actually wear once I fit into them (aka, when they're looser).  I'll take some pictures in them for my weigh-in at the end of the month. 

Otherwise I was mostly shopping for work.  I really needed new sweaters; my current ones are pretty much all from a thrift store and while they're mostly still in good shape I was getting tired of them.  I also needed new pants; my khakis and my black dockers were getting spots of wear that were noticeable.  Getting dressed every morning was turning into such a chore because I was wearing the same few things over and over again.   I bought four pairs of khaki-style pants, two in shades of khaki, one black, and one gray. 

I am definitely into a size 12 pant now and it's great.  I was trying to remember the other night when I last wore a 12.  I remember when I graduated from high school I was wearing a juniors 13 which when you get hips translates into about a womens size 12.  So, at least 21 years since my bum and tum have been this small.  Yay me!

The tops are still size large to extra-large, depending on the cut.  It's the breastage.  My friend S was of the opinion that I'm close to a medium in a lot of tops.  They were just a tad too snug for public.  I got four sweaters today:  chocolate, grey, dark raspberry and light raspberry.  Oh, and I found a tech tank that was originally marked at $30 for $2.99.  Pretty good if you can get it.

The horse-size antibiotics I'm taking are doing well in fighting this sinus infection.   Seriously, they're huge and I have to take them for three weeks this time.  Once those are done, I'll need to get a CT scan of my sinuses to try to determine why my sinuses are chronically and almost continually infected if I'm not on a regular dose of something like prednisone (which can make your Achilles spontaneously explode -- did you know that??).  Anyone ever have or know someone has had sinus surgery in the past few years?  I'm hoping it won't take long to recover from since I want to get this fixed (I've had chronic sinus infections for the past 30 years) as soon as possible if there is a fix, which means getting it done in the middle of marathon training.  The other option would be to wait until after Eugene, which with my work schedule would mean not until July and in the interim the potential for several more sinus infections. 

I need to get off to my pee-free (knock on wood) bed.  CBS is random lifting her paws up in the air for some odd reason.  If she were asleep I'd think she was having "pet my belly" dreams but she's awake.  Yet another thing they never tell you about in the dog books. 

Sartorial cheers,
the CilleyGirl

A new look?

I'm trying out a new look for the blog.  I really want to have three columns since I was getting too many widgets down just one side, but Blogger doesn't have any stock three column templates.  I'm heading out the door so I haven't had time to add back any widgets but so far this is the one I like best.  What do you think?

the CilleyGirl

Saturday, November 7, 2009

What? What?? Are you sure? ARE YOU SURE??!!!???!!!!

Just looked up the official race times for my 5K today.  0:37:51.  I broke 40 minutes!!!!  By a lot!!!!

I even started at the back of the pack, probably three seconds behind the finish line. 

I'm stunned.  Simply stunned.  Don't really believe the results are right but I'm going to take it!!  Yay me!!!

Oh, and I was right about being third to last.  I placed 141 out of 143 overall.  Even with as slow as I am, I've never been last.  I probably will be some day, but today is not that day. 

Hmm, maybe I ran faster since I didn't know what pace I was running at.  There was this short steep hill (that I had to run up three times) and everything.  There was even a really strong headwind.  Read about the race course here

And one more thing:  today was my 20th race.  Took 20 tries to break 40 minutes but I did it!  

Cheering enthusiastically,
the CilleyGirl

Success! And the EA Sports 5K Challenge.

Where I didn't finish last.

I finished third to last.

Before before I get into my turn as an icicle this morning, let me tell you about last night.  Remember how I was counting the minutes until I could get off work and to the pharmacy to pick up my meds for this wicked sinus infection, plus dinner since I hadn't gotten a lunch?   I had planned out where to eat and what to get then realized how many evil fast food restaurants there were between here and the pharmacy.  I was scared I'd give in to the urge to chow down as a way to make myself feel better, both mentally and physically.

Well.  On the way to the pharmacy is the Subway by my house.  I decided to stop in there and get my dinner before going to the pharmacy, rather than after.  It turned out to be a stunningly brilliant move on my part.  And here's why.

I made a special trip to the pharmacy after my doctor appointment to drop off my prescriptions so that after work I wouldn't have to wait 30 to 45 minutes at the store while they were being filled.  I crate CBS dog during the day and I try to get home on time to set her free.  Not that she ever pees in her own bed.  Oh no, she only pees in MY bed.  But that's another post.  Anyhow, I drop the scripts off at 2:00 PM, they tell me they'll be ready in an hour to an hour and a half (new computer system), and I make my merry way back to work.  By 6:00 PM, I'm back at the pharmacy to pick them up.  So is everyone else in creation.  I finally get to the head of the line.... sweet relief is in my grasp....

Only to be told that they are not ready yet.  Okey doke.  She tells me it will be 45 minutes before they are ready.  I'm ready to scream, shout, hit things, but I tell her that I will have to come back tomorrow.  I get home, eat something, relax for a few, and I'm feeling better.  Still have a sinus infection, but I'm low on homicidal impulses.  It's almost 8:00 PM, so I decide to run back to the pharmacy to pick up my meds because I'd really rather not run in the morning with the way my head feels.  I get down to the pharmacy and.... wait for it.... can you guess?

They were NOT ready.  Still.  I said as calmly as I could, this is my third trip here today.  How much longer will it be?  She punches buttons on the computer for at least five minutes then tells me, 25 minutes.  I check the clock and amble off to check out the books.  Picked up a book I'm very excited to read:  The Lovely Bones.  Or is it The Lonely Bones.  Pretty sure it's the first.  Anyhow, teenage girl is murdered in 1973 and the story is about her death and the aftermath as she watches from her heaven.  From the first paragraph, it is compelling.  For the life of me, I couldn't find a third book to complete my "buy two, get one free" so not only were the meds a little pricey (I never seem to get the $4 thing anymore) but then I spent unplanned money on books. 

I started the antibiotics last night and already felt better when I woke up.  Headed out to Hillsboro for the 5K put on by NW Running League.  The rain had stopped by the time I got out there so I didn't get to find out if my new water resistant pants are just that, but the wind was going freezingly strong the entire time so I did find out that they are in fact wind resistant.  Very much so.  At times, it was almost like I had a piece of cardboard held up against my legs, blocking the wind.  I really need to get a wicking beanie; I wore a baseball cap thinking it would rain and so left my ear warmer band at home.  I would have preferred the band, particularly since the wind was so strong it blew my hat off at one point.  It was tough to run into the wind, it was that strong.

My footpod stopped transmitting to my iPod so while the timer worked I apparently ran 0.0 km at a 0:00:00 pace.  Nice to know.  I think the downpour from a couple of weeks ago blew it out.  I played around with it at home and could only get a pace to show up sporadically.  There's a one year warranty on the thing so it will be off to the Apple store tomorrow to get a new one.   Not sure what to do the next time it rains, however.  Like it is now. 

For not having run in something like ten days and with a strong headwind at times -- oh, and plus I bonked about halfway through the course, sad part was I had Gu in my car and I thought longingly of it for the rest of the race as I ran with Frankenstein legs -- I didn't do too bad.  Wasn't last, there were at least two people behind me as I finished.  I'll have to check the time results but I think the clock said 0:41:02.  About 30 seconds slower than what I did for Run Like Hell.  Glad to know my fitness level is holding despite my recent lack of training, but I'm also a bit annoyed because that means I could do so, so much better if I were training regularly. 

As it pours and pours and pours outside my window, and as I look out my window to the rec center gym that is next door to my office, I'm again thinking about signing up for a gym for the winter months.  Unfortunately, the one next door to my office (and thus four minutes from my house) is more like a really big gym that would be in an apartment rec center.  This place is the rec center for the development my office sits in the middle of.  They don't have much equipment, in fact they're going through a remodel now, but above all they don't have an indoor track and that's what I would really, really like.  There is a gym about ten minutes from me (at least it should be ten minutes at 5:00 AM) that does have an indoor track.  It may be the only indoor track in Portland.  Used to be a YMCA, it's now an Allstar Fitness -- anyone belong to one of those?  I need to find out how much a membership would be.  Anything over $50, or anything that needs to paid up front, I just can't do.  Well, maybe my mom would do it for an early Christmas present.  (That's actually not a bad idea.  Mom, if you're reading this, call me.)   I think I should download their free introductory pass thing and see how it would be to drag my ass down there in the mornings.  I do miss lifting weights. 

I've got to get back to it.  At least with overtime maybe I can afford a gym membership on my own!

the CilleyGirl

Friday, November 6, 2009

A challenge I am determined to meet

Little crazy here in Cilleyland today.  As I mentioned, I need meds for the serious sinus infection I'm suffering from.  Today I had a lunchtime (ish) appointment with my allergist.  I thought slightly ahead and tossed a CLIF bar (peanut toffee buzz) into my lunch bag to eat before I went since I'd be eating lunch no earlier than 2 PM as a consequence of the appointment.   I even traded my usual oatmeal part of my breakfast (130 calories) for a granola bar (100 calories) to make up for the extra CLIF bar (250 calories).  That and the seven peanut butter chocolate chunk cookies I ate last night (hmm, 60 calories a piece -- oops -- did I mention I have a wicked sinus infection?). 

Shortly after I got back from the doc's, the office went into crisis mode.  It's nearly 5 PM and instead of a nice or even abbreviated lunch all I've had time to eat was about 25 calories worth of popcorn (my boss hasn't eaten either, he scarfed down most of it).  Now not only do I have the sinus headache (I pick my meds up after work) I have the low blood sugar and too much caffeine on an empty stomach headache. 

In the past -- in the extremely, very recent past -- this would have been license for me to chow down.  Particularly since I'll be driving right by at least a half dozen fast food restaurants near the pharmacy.  Crap, wish I hadn't thought about that.  Because I am determined to meet the challenge of stopping the crazy chow down by planning out what I will be ordering at Subway (one near my house and work, one near the pharmacy on the way home).  Hmm.  Okay, put all thoughts of fast food out of your mind.  After the cookie debacle (I only made seven small cookies but I knew I should have just taken the two I planned to eat and immediately boxed up the remaining five), I do not want to scarf a bunch of calories and then have an uncomfortable tummy full of calories (and shame) later. 

Alright, I'm good now.  Because you all will yell at me if I get the fast food, won't you?  Which reminds me, I realized a few days ago that I forgot to add a Subway exception to my "no fast food" goal for November.  If I have the calories, I can eat at Subway.  It's tough to really go overboard at Subway unless you order The Feast or a bunch of cookies.  I've lost my taste for most regular potato chips, instead preferring the baked ones, and I don't often have a cookie craving. 

I'm thankful I have you all to keep me on the straight and narrow.  Yay team! 

Man, I cannot wait to get my meds.  And some Advil.  I can do the latter now, so I'm off.  Running a 5K early in the morning.  Wish me luck!

the CilleyGirl