Tuesday, April 20, 2010

For when you just can't make it out the door....

... here are 100 excuses as to why you didn't run today.
  1. I have a migraine.
  2. My hip hurts.
  3. My leg hurts.
  4. My ankle hurts.
  5. My foot hurts.
  6. I need new running shoes.
  7. Ferrets ate my shoes.
  8. My running clothes are all in the wash.
  9. It's raining.
  10. It's too hot out.
  11. It's too cold out.
  12. I didn't sleep well last night.
  13. I have moths.  Mutant, junkie moths.
  14. I have to go to work.
  15. I had to stay late at work.
  16. I forgot my iPod.
  17. I'm sick of all the songs on my iPod.
  18. My iPod won't work.
  19. Rabid gerbils have taken over the streets.
  20. It's that time of the month.
  21. It's my wife/girlfriend/sister/mom/grandmother's time of the month.
  22. My legs are too tired.
  23. My legs are nice and rested and I don't want to ruin that.
  24. They won't let me run with a gun.
  25. My gun flops around when I run and it's annoying.
  26. I need to catch up on my TiVo.
  27. My tummy hurts.
  28. My allergies are acting up.
  29. The snakes got off the monkey flying plane.
  30. I can't run in heels.
  31. The CIA called and I had to jet off to Rome.
  32. I was mugged by a chimpanzee.
  33. I tawt I taw a puddytat.
  34. The mother of all paper cuts.
  35. Freak stapler accident.
  36. My bib number was 666 and by the time I found a goat to sacrifice the race was already over.
  37. Octomom.
  38. I broke my tweeter.
  39. I refuse to run until I figure out who the hell Justin Bieber is and why I should care.
  40. Crocodiles.  Everywhere.
  41. I had to clean the litter box.
  42. Someone shaved my cat (Radioactive Girls only).
  43. Alien spider babies are hatching from my foot (Gazelles only).
  44. Cirque du Soleil called and they need me.
  45. Some kid asked me to stick my finger in a dike and I'm still here.
  46. I can't run in wooden shoes.
  47. The Village People were in town and they needed someone to fill in for the Cowboy.
  48. I can't run in assless chaps.
  49. I can't find vegan shoes.
  50. I just got a pedicure and I don't want to ruin it.
  51. My knee was making this weird clicking noise.
  52. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
  53. My giddyup got up and went.
  54. I overdosed on Gatorade.
  55. It's wabbit season.
  56. I'm the one who put the ram in the ram-a-lama-ding-dong and now I can't show my face on the street.
  57. Toga!  Toga!  Toga!
  58. I can't run in a toga.
  59. I gave up hills for Lent.
  60. It looked like muskrat love but it really wasn't and now I can't get it off my shoe.
  61. I forgot to charge my Garmin.
  62. I already did my 5,000 steps for the day.
  63. The treadmill won't work when the power goes out.
  64. I've developed an allergy to sweat.
  65. I forgot how to tie my shoelaces.
  66. I'm out of Gu.
  67. I can't find anyone to run with.
  68. I just found out I'm pregnant and it's never too early to worry about shaken baby syndrome.
  69. There's a sale at Macy's.
  70. I don't want to mess up my makeup.
  71. Chafing.
  72. I'm afraid of concrete.
  73. The track makes me dizzy.
  74. Batman called and he needs my help.
  75. I can't run in a codpiece.
  76. There were these donuts, see...
  77. My toe hurts.
  78. I wanted to get a head start on that letter to Santa.
  79. I can't run on days that end with a "y".
  80. Those dishes aren't going to do themselves.
  81. Couch monster.
  82. Groundhog Day is sacred to my people.
  83. I'm allergic to asphalt.
  84. I needed to find a bigger boat.
  85. Someone had to save the princess.
  86. My lightsaber needed batteries.
  87. I can never remember that it's "Beer before liquor, never sicker" and "Liquor before beer, never fear."
  88. I have a hangover.
  89. I was updating my Wikipedia entry and lost track of time.
  90. The Boston Marathon was on and I had to see how it ended.
  91. I'm behind on my blogging.
  92. That floor isn't going to vacuum itself.  It would be kind of creepy if it did.
  93. I pulled a groin muscle during the nude Jell-o wrestling championships last week.
  94. My sports bra blew a gasket.
  95. I shook my groove thing a little too hard last night.
  96. I shot the sheriff, but I did not shoot the deputy and there's some sort of paperwork involved in all that.
  97. I'm a lover, not a runner.
  98. Apollo 13 was on and I had to see how it ended.
  99. The Masters tournament was on and I had to find a spork to gouge out my eyes with.
  100. I had to come up with 100 excuses not to run.
the CilleyGirl


  1. Damn...you got me..I have personally used:
    9. (but only in Amsterdam)
    10. (but only in Australia)
    11. (but only in Amsterdam again...damn me our weather sucks)
    45. (I am in Amsterdam after all)
    46. (ditto, as per above)
    48. (well...I can...but the leash attached to my nipple clamps usually won't let me run far)
    51. (now that really IS true...my right knee knows morse code)
    88. (if you only knew how often THAT one has been the reason...)
    93. (and that...)
    94. (daily...my girls are heavy duty)
    97. (never truer words spoken)

    But I was surprised to see one left of the list that I have used multiple times...

    101. I had hot monkey love relations (boom-chica-wah-wah) eight times last night and now cannot walk straight let alone run...

    Where was that one? I haven't had to use it for a week but I plan on using it again in the future...boom-chica-wah-wah!

  2. RG - Ha!! On 101, it's sad (very sad, very very very sad) to say that since I took up running last year I haven't had the chance to use that excuse. Clearly, Carlos the Hot Pool Boy is not doing his job. I think he needs a leash....!

  3. I know where you can get the leash for Carlos (for when you need to walk the big dog!)...but the better solution is to replace him with Chad the Hot Pizza Delivery Guy...sex and pizza...who needs more...