Sunday, December 6, 2009

CilleyGirl Presents: Kracked Kristmas Karols, Day 3

E! True Hollywood Story:  Rudolph*

You know Croissant and Brioche
And Donut and Cupcake,
Galette and Fruit Tart
And Muffin and Snowflake**.
But do you recall
The most famous reindeer of them all?

Rudolph the big-assed reindeer
had a very shiny taint.
(like a starfish)
And if you ever saw him,
(saw him)
Skinny you would say he ain’t.
(he’s a big’un)

All of the other reindeer
(like they should talk)
Used to laugh and call him names.
(like fat ass)
They never let that fat-ass
(told you)
Join in any reindeer games.
(like Twister)

Then one foggy Christmas Eve
Santa came to say:
(speaking of a fat ass)
“Rudolph if you’d lose some weight,
You wouldn’t drag down the sleigh with your big fat ass.”
(Santa actually isn’t very nice, contrary to popular belief. But he keeps the list so he doesn’t care.  He also can't rhyme.)

So Rudy flipped off Santa
(look who’s talking)
and he shouted out with glee.
(glee glee glee)
Santa, this job is sucky –
I’m off to Beverly!
(Hills that is. Swimming pools. Liposuction.)

*(if you don't know this tune, I can't help you)
**Snowflake was adopted. He’s very sensitive about it.

Christmas cheers,
the CilleyGirl

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