Friday, January 15, 2010

Day 5: Ain't nothin gonna breaka my stride

Which is a good thing because I'm not feeling well and I let that keep me from the gym this morning. 

I've felt incredibly guilty all morning.  And like a failure.  A complete failure.  I suck.  I never finish what I start.  I'm a horrible runner.  I'm a moose.  A big fat moose.  A moose failure.  Who can't run and sucks and never finishes what the big fat moose starts.

Yeah, it's awfully cheerful behind my eyes today.

But then I read a post by another blogger.  And I would give credit if only I could remember who it was.  Which is sad because I read it just minutes ago.  Ah yes, I tracked it down:  Sean over at Daily Diary of a Winning Loser.  He was talking about how this is all one day at a time.  I read that and immediately my mind started shifting in the right direction:  It is one day at a time.  My plan was already to go run tonight after work or, if I'm still feeling fluffy between the ears (seems to be a sinus thing, hopefully not the first day of a two day build up to another full blown migraine) I'll run tomorrow.  Neither is optimal in my opinion; I prefer to work out in the morning and on an empty stomach.  Yet I need to get it done.  It's important to me to do it and I am important to me, therefore I need to do it.  I feel as though if I wait until tomorrow I might not actually do it (I'd rather sleep in and have tomorrow as a rest day), so I need to commit to tonight. 

Maybe I need a carrot to dangle in front of me so that I will do it.  Okay then.  Brain, if you go run after work you can get a big sloppy hamburger for dinner.  And some chicken fries.  Even a chocolate shake if you are so inclined. 

I know I shouldn't reward myself with food, but....  There is a good chance that I may feel so virtuous after my workout that I will go for some other, healthier option instead.  Like Subway or KFC's grilled chicken.  Actually the latter sounds pretty good right now.   Mmmm, chicken. 

I had that weird heartburn thing again this morning, part of the reason I talked myself out of running.  And again, not sure why.  I didn't even really eat dinner last night.  I subbed on a friend's bowling team and didn't have time (or feel inclined) for dinner beforehand.  I had some tater tots while bowling, with the idea that I would pick something up on the way home, like Taco Bell.  But I still didn't feel inclined later, plus I've started reading Jillian Michaels' new book about metabolism and her "No carbs after 9:00 p.m." kept ringing in my ears.  It was only ten after nine, but I could just see me eating and then feeling too full to sleep.  So, no dinner but tots.  Maybe it was the empty stomach that did it?  But I ate dinner the night before... Gah, I'm too fluffy for this today.

I hope everyone is having a more in-focus day than I am.  I am off to eat lunch; perhaps that will help. 

the CilleyGirl

1 comment:

  1. Get back on track and cheer up. Hope you feel better all over. There are two great ways to get out of a slump: 1. Give a pep talk to someone else and 2. Do some form of exercise. Get those endorphins flowing!