1. I'd like to know why my ankle hurts. Are we having too many strenuous lie-downs on the sofa, ankle? Seriously, what gives?
2. I'd like to know why a guy thought he should kill his wife and daughter so that they wouldn't know about his financial problems. I'm sure they're thanking you for the more pleasant alternative of murder than needing to cut back on the family's pizza and movie nights out.
3. I'd like to know why I am so damned tired all the time. I've had a cold for about a week now, but it seems to be more than that. I'm too young to feel this old.
4. I'd like to know why office machines can't all agree on whether the paper should go face up or face down.
5. I'd like to know what Pat Robertson was smoking when he came out in favor of David Petreaus. Apparently "men will be men" and we shouldn't blame him for shtupping outside of marriage. Never mind that whole adultery commandment thing, right Pat? I think what Pat really meant to say was "men will be asshats."
6. I'd like to know what my plans are for Thanksgiving. It seems like such an effort to think about right now. Grumpy ankle says a turkey trot is probably not a good idea. I did buy potatoes though.
7. I'd like to know where all the people who swear they're moving out of the country because Obama was re-elected plan to move to. Canada, with its socialized medicine? Europe, with its socialized medicine? I think the last bastion of pure capitalism these days is Russia. Ooh, maybe they're planning to move to Africa or the Middle East? You know, where cash is king, religion rules it all, legitimate rape is everywhere, and women are definitely second class citizens. Get one with an oil or diamond rich economy and you're set.
8. I'd like to know what the people signing secession petitions are thinking. I will say that the Wikipedia entry on secession in the United States makes for fascinating reading. Particularly the more recent activity that I'm guessing most of us never heard about. Apparently the Pacific Northwest has wanted to split off for years. Nobody told me.
9. I'd like to know why I have Christmas music stuck in my head already. Not cool, brain. Not cool.
10. I'd like to know why the hell I've started watching The Vampire Diaries. Maybe I've suffered a stroke and don't know it. That would explain a lot.
11. I'd like to know who put the bop in the bop-she-bop-she-bop as well as who put the ram in the rama-lama-ding-dong.
12. I'd like to know if Donald Trump really thinks his hair looks good.
13. I'd like to know who my new followers are, since the Blogger dashboard is disinclined to share at the moment. Thanks and welcome!!