Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Hip Chick

I was a good girl and went to see my chiropractor on Monday.  He confirmed my initial diagnosis that my back was all fucked up (but in nice, technical medical terms).  Since I couldn't find a pretty diagram to show what the problem is (in my hip at least -- can't diagram my general psychoses) I thought I'd draw it out for you.

Not that I can actually draw, but oh well.  That's what captions are for.
So here is a lovely view of someone's backside.  Told you I can't draw!  The green triangle pointing towards the booty crack is that center part of your pelvis that is shaped like, well, a triangle.  I mean, I can't draw but work with me here.  See how it's nice and (more or less) straight across the top?  That's how it should be.

But on me?

It's a helluva lot more like this.  Not only is the top no longer parallel to the ground, it's also kind of rotated on its axis.  Since I can't draw, you'll have to take my word for it.

Now what this does is pinch on all the lovely nerves that are in and coming out of your pelvis and lower vertrebrae.  The green lines are nice, happy, non-pinched nerves.  The red ones are all pinched.  Makes walking feel like kind of a hit or miss prospect.  Will my right leg stay under me with this step?  How about this one?  Let's go for three!

Not fun.

My chiro did a good job of moving the bony bits mostly back where they should be.  But they (a) have shifted a little bit since Monday and (b) are surrounded by swollen, inflamed, unhappy muscle and connective tissue.  There is a big pinch still in my low back and another one in the right hip flexor.  They tend not to hurt both at the same time though.  No, they are nice enough to trade off.  So that one hurts a whole bunch only while I am sitting and then the other one hurts a whole bunch while I am trying to walk around.

And I can't get back in until Monday.  Should be a fun 18-miler on Saturday. 

So, um.  Anyone know where I can score some vicodin?

(I'm mostly kidding with that one.)

the CilleyGirl


  1. Yes. I do know where. ;) But you're kidding. Again... ;)

    I hope you get fixed! You are working so hard on these crazy-ass long runs (I do believe that "crazy-ass" IS the technical term), so I want you to be healthy!

  2. Oh - and I like your drawings! I think they are fabulous. And almost like an ad for thong underwear!

  3. How in the hell did you run 16 miles with a jacked up back????? I would have passed out on the road. lol