Monday, June 14, 2010

Week 4 recap

Wow, I had no idea it had been nearly a week since last I was here.  Did you miss me??

Week 4 Recap:
Starting weight - 191.0 lbs
Ending weight - 191.0 lbs
Difference -- 0 lbs lost!  Also 0 lbs gained!

Status quo for this ferret this week.  In retrospect, that's pretty good because there was a fish stick incident.  That repeated a few times.  More of a fish stick rampage, I'd say.  No idea why I crave fish sticks.  It may be more of a tartar sauce craving; the fish sticks are merely a convenient vehicle by which I can convey the tartar sauce to my mouth.  But I'm over it.  I'm happy to report that while buying one last package of fish sticks yesterday at the store crossed my mind -- after all, I still had tartar sauce left -- I was able to resist.  I'm moving back on track with healthier eating.

In that regard, last Friday finally saw the assemblage of my BBQ.  Saturday saw the successful grilling of big slab o' beef on the BBQ.  But not entirely without incident.

I have this fear of propane.  I fully expect fireballs with corresponding losses of arm hair and eyebrows, if not outright explosion.  Mostly because I have caused many fireballs in my propane experiences, although thankfully my losses have been limited mostly to arm hair and to date there have been no explosions.  The electric starters on those things never work for me; by the time I resort to attempting to light it with a match, there has been a build up of a cloud of propane that lights with a "fwooomph!" and usually takes my arm hair with it.

Amusingly, I have no fear of kerosene or other combustible liquids.  Growing up, we had this kerosene heater that we would use to heat our gigantic garage when we had to work out there in cold weather.  That meant we had a big barrel of kerosene that we used to fill up the heater and, well, our empty bottles of lighter fluid.  Because actual lighter fluid is for wussies.  I will get my body as far away as possible from a propane fueled device before attempting to light it, yet I will blithely squirt copious amounts of kerosene onto an already-lit charcoal grill or wood fire.  Go figure.

So, after assembling my new little BBQ, I cautiously attached the small propane cylinder, turned on the gas and inserted a (extremely long, because I had to keep my distance) wooden match into the wooden-matchy-lighty-spot.  And nothing.  I could hear gas hissing, but no fireball, no fwoooomph!  Damn thing wouldn't light.

So I turned the gas off, waited the requisite five minutes for the gas to dissipate, and tried again.  Still nothing.  I tried the whole routine again.  No joy.  I undid the propane cylinder and checked it again; yes, there was gas in there.  But maybe there just wasn't enough or it was too cold or too warm or something.  I got another cylinder.  Did the whole thing again, burning through my third foot-long match and still nothing.  Took everything apart, checked the fittings, put the original cylinder back on.  This time I've gotten pissed enough that I'm using the electric match lighter rather than the recommended wooden match.  Still nothing. 

I give up.  I go inside, get out a pan in which I can sear the beef and then turn on the oven to preheat so I can finish cooking the beef in there to get the rareness I like.  I'm still annoyed so I decide to try it one last time.  I've already taken the box it came in out to the recycle bin so I can't exactly return the thing now.  I'm so ticked off by the BBQ not working that I am no longer cowering below the table as I attempt to light the thing.  I'm standing fairly close, leaning cautiously over the grill as I turn on the gas and insert the lighter. 

And still nothing.  I'm reaching out to turn off the cylinder, and perhaps chuck the BBQ over the fence, when my body shadows the grill and I see.... blue flame reflected in the bottom of the BBQ.  It's lit!!!  I'm getting ready to do a dance of joy when I begin to think back over how I did it this time so I can repeat the process when I realize---- damn thing has been lighting EACH TIME I've tried.  It's just that there was no corresponding fireball or fwooomph!!  And I was not aware that a propane grill could be lit with no noise or risk of life or limb (or hair on that limb) whatsoever.  But this one can.  I know, because it took me all of three seconds to light it again on Sunday. 

I still have a healthy respect for propane.  But it's now tempered by all the things I can grill!!!

the CilleyGirl

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