The plague!!! The plague has me!!
I didn't get much running done again this week. Booooo :( The past week is an odd blur so I don't remember precisely what was up each day but I know I was definitely not feeling well. I did my 10K race on Sunday and that was it. I didn't even really want to do that -- it was cold and rainy and I felt yucky -- but I also didn't want to waste the money.
So, the Run Like Hell Portland. The race has a 5K, 10K, and half options. Last year I did the 5K, this year I needed a 10K to complete my 2010 racing goals and the Run Like Hell was it. The theme this year was Alice in Wonderland. I was going to do the easy bunny ear thing, but I knew it would be raining and therefore I'd be wearing a hat and have you ever tried to put bunny ears on a ball cap? My luck they would turn out to have some sort of weird dye in them and once they got wet they'd permanently stain me fuchsia or something.
It was definitely raining Sunday morning so my mom (down for a visit this past weekend) opted not to come spectate. Wuss. Sunday is kind of a blur too -- too many cold meds lately, I guess -- but I think I was wearing a long-short sleeved tech tee and running capris for the race. The temp was in the mid 50s so since I nearly always have the sleeves on a long sleeve shirt pushed up to my elbows, I figured I'd be just as warm (or cold) in that particular tech tee which has short sleeves that end at my elbows -- hence the long-short sleeved designation. It stopped raining about 20 minutes into the race, enough to get us wet and soak your shoes pretty good with all the puddles. Then the sun came out for a while, nice with the warmth and the no rain, not so nice with the blinding glare off the wet streets. Because who wears sunglasses when it's been raining?
I ended up being at a good temp during the race, only chilly when we were running by the river with the wind that comes off it. It wasn't my best race, but I ran at a consistent pace and didn't walk much. 1,141 people finished the 10K race; 780 of those were female, which seems to me a weird skewing. I finished 1,061st. My official time was 1:31:39, but that included a three minute wait for a train to go by. I didn't bother to e-mail the race folks to get my time adjusted. (My Garmin had 1:28, since I stopped it for the train.) At the peak of my marathon training, I could do a 10K in 1:15. Since I've been sick for five weeks now and ran only a dozen times since May I was realistic about how I'd do in this race. I wanted to finish in 1:30, so I was happy with meeting that goal.
I haven't set any real running goals for this week yet. I turn 40 tomorrow, and I'm thinking of running after I get up. Or not. I'm very much a "do whatever the hell you want to do on your birthday" kind of person. So I might blog tomorrow. Or not. It will be my birthday, after all :)
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Monday, October 18, 2010
Weekly recap and this week's goals
After sleeping roughly 24 hours between Friday and Saturday nights, I took my Cute But Stupid dog out for another run at the Springwater Corridor Trail. I was aiming for somewhere between three and six miles, depending on how I felt.
The weather was absolutely beautiful.
While I was struggling to breath for the first two miles or so, CBS did really, really well. She stayed closer to my side or else went out in front of me, which was a Very Good Thing because during the whole time we were out there, only ONE bicyclist gave warning that he was passing. ONE. Everybody else just sped on by, and some cut it really close.
One kid had to skid to a stop to avoid crashing into me, the dog, and a woman coming in the opposite direction. Idiot.
It was bright and sunny but not incredibly hot. I got a good sweat going and CBS was a happy dog.
We ran out to what I call the beehives, these cool sculptures on the side of the trail.
It was just a great day to be out. See how great CBS looks?
You'd just never guess that 30 minutes later, just past mile five, she collapsed on the side of the trail.
We were about a half mile from the car when she stopped. I thought she was stopping to sniff at something, and when I turned around to look her back legs were crossed over each other funny. I thought had just lost her balance or something, and then down she went. For a second she was laying down but still with her head up and I wondered if she had something in her paw. Then she really went down. She got stiff all over first, then her head arched back and she made this straining sound. I thought, leg cramp? I started rubbing down her back and her legs, checking for swelling or hard spots but nothing. I tried to give her water but she wouldn't take any. For a good three minutes, it was as if she wasn't in there anymore. I checked her heart but it wasn't fast (I realized a minute later that it should have been, after the exercise) and she wasn't panting either. I kept stroking her and finally she started to pant a little bit and then she started to drink the water. She sucked nearly 10 oz out of my Nathan bottle. She got her head up a bit and coughed, then lay back down again. I gave her the other bottle and she drank nearly all of that too. She started to pant more and finally I was able to get her sitting and then standing. Then it was as if none of it had happened. She wanted to trot again and then run -- I wouldn't let her after all of that. We walked slowly back to the car, where she drank a little more water and then she was ready to poke her head out the car window and go for a ride.
Scary!!! There were long moments where I thought for sure I'd be carrying my dead dog back to my car. Stroke? Heart attack? I'm pretty sure she just got overheated and more or less passed out from it. I always stop for water breaks when I have my dogs with me but she wouldn't take more than a couple of drops if that. It wasn't all that hot, but we were on asphalt. We'd slept in late that day and left about a half hour after getting up, so she probably was a bit dehydrated to start. She drank even more water when we got home, plus I fed her a bunch of biscuits to get her doggy blood sugar up. But within an hour after it happened, you never would have known it. She was completely back to normal, begging for bites of my lunch.
So, no more runs with the pup. We were just starting to get the hang of it too. Oh well, I'd rather have a live dog than a dead running partner.
Recapping last week:
Monday - rest. Done!
Tuesday - 3 miles. Done! 3.01, actually.
Wednesday - rest. Done!
Thursday - 3 miles. Not done! The ick flared up and I didn't want to get sicker.
Friday - 3 miles or cross train. Not done! Still felt like crap, nearly fell asleep on the drive home.
Saturday - rest. Done! I did nothing but rest on Saturday.
Sunday - 3 miles. Done! 5.76 miles, actually. I felt lousy the first half of the run, but a lot better the second half. Until the dog passed out.
Total miles: 8.77 miles.
This week's goals:
Monday - rest.
Tuesday - 3.5 miles.
Wednesday - rest.
Thursday - 3 miles.
Friday - 3 miles or cross train.
Saturday - rest.
Sunday - Run Like Hell 10K.
Remember: Whether your running buddy has two legs or four, make sure they stay hydrated!!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
The weather was absolutely beautiful.
While I was struggling to breath for the first two miles or so, CBS did really, really well. She stayed closer to my side or else went out in front of me, which was a Very Good Thing because during the whole time we were out there, only ONE bicyclist gave warning that he was passing. ONE. Everybody else just sped on by, and some cut it really close.
One kid had to skid to a stop to avoid crashing into me, the dog, and a woman coming in the opposite direction. Idiot.
It was bright and sunny but not incredibly hot. I got a good sweat going and CBS was a happy dog.
We ran out to what I call the beehives, these cool sculptures on the side of the trail.
It was just a great day to be out. See how great CBS looks?
You'd just never guess that 30 minutes later, just past mile five, she collapsed on the side of the trail.
Dramatic re-enactment.
We were about a half mile from the car when she stopped. I thought she was stopping to sniff at something, and when I turned around to look her back legs were crossed over each other funny. I thought had just lost her balance or something, and then down she went. For a second she was laying down but still with her head up and I wondered if she had something in her paw. Then she really went down. She got stiff all over first, then her head arched back and she made this straining sound. I thought, leg cramp? I started rubbing down her back and her legs, checking for swelling or hard spots but nothing. I tried to give her water but she wouldn't take any. For a good three minutes, it was as if she wasn't in there anymore. I checked her heart but it wasn't fast (I realized a minute later that it should have been, after the exercise) and she wasn't panting either. I kept stroking her and finally she started to pant a little bit and then she started to drink the water. She sucked nearly 10 oz out of my Nathan bottle. She got her head up a bit and coughed, then lay back down again. I gave her the other bottle and she drank nearly all of that too. She started to pant more and finally I was able to get her sitting and then standing. Then it was as if none of it had happened. She wanted to trot again and then run -- I wouldn't let her after all of that. We walked slowly back to the car, where she drank a little more water and then she was ready to poke her head out the car window and go for a ride.
Scary!!! There were long moments where I thought for sure I'd be carrying my dead dog back to my car. Stroke? Heart attack? I'm pretty sure she just got overheated and more or less passed out from it. I always stop for water breaks when I have my dogs with me but she wouldn't take more than a couple of drops if that. It wasn't all that hot, but we were on asphalt. We'd slept in late that day and left about a half hour after getting up, so she probably was a bit dehydrated to start. She drank even more water when we got home, plus I fed her a bunch of biscuits to get her doggy blood sugar up. But within an hour after it happened, you never would have known it. She was completely back to normal, begging for bites of my lunch.
So, no more runs with the pup. We were just starting to get the hang of it too. Oh well, I'd rather have a live dog than a dead running partner.
Recapping last week:
Monday - rest. Done!
Tuesday - 3 miles. Done! 3.01, actually.
Wednesday - rest. Done!
Thursday - 3 miles. Not done! The ick flared up and I didn't want to get sicker.
Friday - 3 miles or cross train. Not done! Still felt like crap, nearly fell asleep on the drive home.
Saturday - rest. Done! I did nothing but rest on Saturday.
Sunday - 3 miles. Done! 5.76 miles, actually. I felt lousy the first half of the run, but a lot better the second half. Until the dog passed out.
Total miles: 8.77 miles.
This week's goals:
Monday - rest.
Tuesday - 3.5 miles.
Wednesday - rest.
Thursday - 3 miles.
Friday - 3 miles or cross train.
Saturday - rest.
Sunday - Run Like Hell 10K.
Remember: Whether your running buddy has two legs or four, make sure they stay hydrated!!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Braaaains..... braaaains.......
Full on sick ick is back :( I had high hopes that I would only need to skip Thursday's run and that I could do 4 miles on Friday and 5 miles on Sunday and still end the week with my mileage on plan. But no. Well, I haven't completely given up on a long run for tomorrow but I'm little more than a lump on the sofa today.
So instead I will take the opportunity to acknowledge the wonderful award I received from One Crazy Penguin.
Thank you!!!! My cilley readers know I'm all about supporting the slower runners among us, those who understand what it means just to cross the finish line, and she does an awesome job of this so please give her a read :)
The rules on the award: (1) Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award, (2) share seven things about yourself, and (3) pass the award on to other bloggers you know are fabulous. Here goes...
1. I love college football, although given that I am the type of person to pick up a new book and read the ending first, I only watch my own college team (Go Cougs!!) because I can't stand the suspense otherwise.
2. I have a thing about time. I love clocks and calendars. I have something like eight clocks throughout my home and get at least five calendars every new year. Something about the reliable passage of time comforts me -- that no matter what is going on, a minute is always 60 seconds, and so forth. It may feel like it takes forever but it is always the same for everyone. Time: the great leveler.
3. I like having pedicures and manicures but I hate the actual process of getting them. I grit my teeth as they file my nails. I flinch as they pumice the soles of my feet. I wince as they trim my cuticles. It's getting to the point where I start to have an anxiety attack when I go in to get one. But I love the end result.
4. My favorite color is twilight, that bluish/lavender color of a summer sky after the sun has gone down but before the moon has risen. I want to paint my bedroom that color but I still haven't found precisely the right shade.
5. I alphabetize all of my books, CDs, and movies, and then I put them in chronological order if applicable (like with a movie trilogy). How else can you find what you are looking for? I love that my DVR does this for me.
6. My first car when I turned 16 was a 1977 MGB, just like the one in the poster below. My dad and I did a lot of work on it over the years. Eventually I had to sell it because I didn't have the money to fully restore it and I couldn't drive it when it wasn't 100% reliable.
Some day I want to restore another MG or maybe something like a Morgan below. The MG is probably more practical; either way, it would be fun.
7. I can't play those video games where you're driving a car or things like that. I have vertigo and being in that first-person position makes me nauseous and dizzy. I have to constantly fight to keep a fixed point of reference or it will overwhelm me. And the ones where it's a stand up video game with the gas pedal and the actual wheel and stuff? Forget about it. On the other hand, if they gave points for running off the road and wiping everything out that isn't on the game course, I'd be high scorer every time.
Now, on to passing along the award! I hereby bestow this Versatile Blogger Award on....
The Devil's Starchy Fingers -- who's getting married!!
Running on Purpose -- who finally got to complete the Portland marathon!!
Mama's (soon to be) Fit Life -- who's having a baby!!
Life in Production -- who keeps doing it day after day !!
Baby Weight My Fat Ass -- who just pulled off an amazing marathon finish in Chicago!!
I'm off to hold down the couch some more, maybe I'll even get really crazy and shower. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
So instead I will take the opportunity to acknowledge the wonderful award I received from One Crazy Penguin.
Thank you!!!! My cilley readers know I'm all about supporting the slower runners among us, those who understand what it means just to cross the finish line, and she does an awesome job of this so please give her a read :)
The rules on the award: (1) Thank and link back to the person who gave you the award, (2) share seven things about yourself, and (3) pass the award on to other bloggers you know are fabulous. Here goes...
1. I love college football, although given that I am the type of person to pick up a new book and read the ending first, I only watch my own college team (Go Cougs!!) because I can't stand the suspense otherwise.
2. I have a thing about time. I love clocks and calendars. I have something like eight clocks throughout my home and get at least five calendars every new year. Something about the reliable passage of time comforts me -- that no matter what is going on, a minute is always 60 seconds, and so forth. It may feel like it takes forever but it is always the same for everyone. Time: the great leveler.
3. I like having pedicures and manicures but I hate the actual process of getting them. I grit my teeth as they file my nails. I flinch as they pumice the soles of my feet. I wince as they trim my cuticles. It's getting to the point where I start to have an anxiety attack when I go in to get one. But I love the end result.
4. My favorite color is twilight, that bluish/lavender color of a summer sky after the sun has gone down but before the moon has risen. I want to paint my bedroom that color but I still haven't found precisely the right shade.
5. I alphabetize all of my books, CDs, and movies, and then I put them in chronological order if applicable (like with a movie trilogy). How else can you find what you are looking for? I love that my DVR does this for me.
6. My first car when I turned 16 was a 1977 MGB, just like the one in the poster below. My dad and I did a lot of work on it over the years. Eventually I had to sell it because I didn't have the money to fully restore it and I couldn't drive it when it wasn't 100% reliable.
Some day I want to restore another MG or maybe something like a Morgan below. The MG is probably more practical; either way, it would be fun.
7. I can't play those video games where you're driving a car or things like that. I have vertigo and being in that first-person position makes me nauseous and dizzy. I have to constantly fight to keep a fixed point of reference or it will overwhelm me. And the ones where it's a stand up video game with the gas pedal and the actual wheel and stuff? Forget about it. On the other hand, if they gave points for running off the road and wiping everything out that isn't on the game course, I'd be high scorer every time.
Now, on to passing along the award! I hereby bestow this Versatile Blogger Award on....
The Devil's Starchy Fingers -- who's getting married!!
Running on Purpose -- who finally got to complete the Portland marathon!!
Mama's (soon to be) Fit Life -- who's having a baby!!
Life in Production -- who keeps doing it day after day !!
Baby Weight My Fat Ass -- who just pulled off an amazing marathon finish in Chicago!!
I'm off to hold down the couch some more, maybe I'll even get really crazy and shower. Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Thursday, October 14, 2010
A Thursday Drive-By
Hello all you cilley folks! I've got a nifty little blog post planned but just can not find the time or the energy to put it all together. So I thought I'd drop in real quick to let you know that I am still alive and that there are good things to come. Work is crazy and I still have the ick, which is now doing its best to drown me in my own nasal lubricant (a much better term than "snot", yes?).
I did go run three miles on Tuesday as per the training schedule and plan to go after work tonight as well. I'm supposed to go in the mornings before work -- I hate having to shower multiple times in a day -- but with the ick I'm not sleeping well and it's nearly impossible to overcome my early-morning zombie-like state right now. I did think about getting up at 6:00 a.m. this morning. Actually at 6:00 a.m. I thought about this. But I did not. Because I have the ick.
Which reminds me. Last November I joined a gym with an indoor track. It used to be a YMCA and it is being renovated into an Allstar Fitness. The renovations are desperately needed. I was there a lot between January and April and the renovations were slow but moving along. I last went to said gym in April. In the six months since, know what they've done? Put the mirrors back up and the hair dryers back out in the ladies' locker room. That is IT. I'm getting a little cranky given I pay somewhat higher gym dues in anticipation of it being a fancy-schmancy gym. I would like very much if they would get their shit together and FINISH THE REMODEL so that I can get what I pay for.
I am off to sush. Because I have the ick. If I do make it to the gym after work tonight, there will probably be Burger King involved after that. Because I have the ick.
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
I did go run three miles on Tuesday as per the training schedule and plan to go after work tonight as well. I'm supposed to go in the mornings before work -- I hate having to shower multiple times in a day -- but with the ick I'm not sleeping well and it's nearly impossible to overcome my early-morning zombie-like state right now. I did think about getting up at 6:00 a.m. this morning. Actually at 6:00 a.m. I thought about this. But I did not. Because I have the ick.
Which reminds me. Last November I joined a gym with an indoor track. It used to be a YMCA and it is being renovated into an Allstar Fitness. The renovations are desperately needed. I was there a lot between January and April and the renovations were slow but moving along. I last went to said gym in April. In the six months since, know what they've done? Put the mirrors back up and the hair dryers back out in the ladies' locker room. That is IT. I'm getting a little cranky given I pay somewhat higher gym dues in anticipation of it being a fancy-schmancy gym. I would like very much if they would get their shit together and FINISH THE REMODEL so that I can get what I pay for.
I am off to sush. Because I have the ick. If I do make it to the gym after work tonight, there will probably be Burger King involved after that. Because I have the ick.
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Wrapping up a beautiful Sunday afternoon in Portland
Hello to all the new followers -- thanks for reading :)
Although my training plan for the past week had to go by the wayside thanks to a particularly persistent case of the ick that is still lingering, I did get out today for a five mile run with the CBS dog.
This was her second only run, but she did really well. She only tried to kill herself once, and me once. My shoulder is tired from muscling her in to me close enough so that she wouldn't dodge suddenly in front of bicyclists (her suicide attempts). She had a LOT of energy -- pretty good for a 15 year old dog. On the way back, she was running in a better position so that no one would trip over her, but then she was more easily distracted by sights and smells. She spotted kayakers on the river and that's when she nearly killed me. It's not so bad for her to cut across me, except that she doesn't do it with a forward momentum. Instead, she stops and then cuts back to our right. I nearly fell over her and my momentum nearly punted her off the path into the river.
It turned out to be a beautiful afternoon in Portland. Unfortunately for the marathoners, it was POURING for the race this morning. But by 1:00 the sun was out and it was temperate and dry. CBS and I did a nice easy run and then she cooled her feet in the river.
I was tempted to join her -- curse my pasty white complexion!
By the time we got back to the car, I was worried I'd broken the dog, but after a few licks to her feet she was ready for our next adventure.
The training for this week:
Monday: Rest.
Tuesday: Three miles.
Wednesday: Rest.
Thursday: Three miles.
Friday: Three miles or cross train.
Saturday: Rest.
Sunday: Three miles.
Boy, am I happy about that rest day tomorrow!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Although my training plan for the past week had to go by the wayside thanks to a particularly persistent case of the ick that is still lingering, I did get out today for a five mile run with the CBS dog.
This was her second only run, but she did really well. She only tried to kill herself once, and me once. My shoulder is tired from muscling her in to me close enough so that she wouldn't dodge suddenly in front of bicyclists (her suicide attempts). She had a LOT of energy -- pretty good for a 15 year old dog. On the way back, she was running in a better position so that no one would trip over her, but then she was more easily distracted by sights and smells. She spotted kayakers on the river and that's when she nearly killed me. It's not so bad for her to cut across me, except that she doesn't do it with a forward momentum. Instead, she stops and then cuts back to our right. I nearly fell over her and my momentum nearly punted her off the path into the river.
It turned out to be a beautiful afternoon in Portland. Unfortunately for the marathoners, it was POURING for the race this morning. But by 1:00 the sun was out and it was temperate and dry. CBS and I did a nice easy run and then she cooled her feet in the river.
I was tempted to join her -- curse my pasty white complexion!
By the time we got back to the car, I was worried I'd broken the dog, but after a few licks to her feet she was ready for our next adventure.
The training for this week:
Monday: Rest.
Tuesday: Three miles.
Wednesday: Rest.
Thursday: Three miles.
Friday: Three miles or cross train.
Saturday: Rest.
Sunday: Three miles.
Boy, am I happy about that rest day tomorrow!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Saturday, October 9, 2010
Getting to know you... getting to know all about you
As I sit here watching the Wazzu/University of Oregon game waiting to see if we just killed one of their Ducks (it was an awesome hit, but this guy is still down on the field - I hope he's okay), I thought I'd post a meme I found over on Seattle Runner Girl's blog. I'm posting the questions first without my answers so that you can answer them on your own blog (leave me a link in the comments) or respond directly in my comments.
1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?
2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?
3. Have you always been overweight?
4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?
5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?
6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?
7. What is your favorite exercise?
8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?
9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?
10. What is your strategy for losing weight?
Yay, the Duck is standing up under his own power! And we've got the ball on our own ten yard line!
1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?
My highest weight was around 210 lbs. It's happened at least twice, although both times I wasn't on the scale until a couple of weeks afterward so I'm guessing that's where it was. The highest I've seen on my scale is around 202-204. To give you an idea of what that is for me, I'm 5'8". I looked something like this:
I haven't been on the scale for a couple of weeks because I've been sick and eating a lot of crap. I was around 189 lbs at the end of September. My goal weight is 145 lbs. I weighed just above there when this picture (senior class picture) was taken:
2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?
I've been marking time for so long, waiting to do so many things until I was thinner. I'm working hard to live my life every day now regardless of my weight, but I still want to lose weight to feel better both physically and mentally and just overall be the person that I really am.
3. Have you always been overweight?
Nope. In fact, when I was younger (before age 12 or so) people thought my mom wasn't feeding me I was so skinny. I think part of was that I have really long legs. My best friend as a kid was chubby and I wanted to look just like her so I ate a lot trying to gain weight. I didn't gain much though; I have a good metabolism when I'm not overwhelming it with junk. I actually lost the freshman 15 even though I was eating double cheeseburgers and banana splits almost every night. I remained the same weight for years and years until I graduated college. At that time, I stopped walking everywhere (particularly the big hills at college) but didn't eat less to compensate and the pounds started to creep on. It took a good 10 years to add the extra 40-50 lbs that I carry now.
4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?
That I am the only one who can do this for myself. Having been single for a lot of years, I'm the one I have to rely on. It can be hard when you're your own main cheerleader but at the same time it cuts out a lot of the extraneous stuff as well.
5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?
During one of my first years in college, I was in the student union building having something to eat and I had to leave my table to do something like go mail a letter. I was bothered by something at the time, I forget what. When I came back to my table, there was a paper plate there and on it was written "Smile! You have an amazing body." My senior year in college I was out with some friends and we were all dancing together. A (really cute) guy came up to me on the dance floor and asked if he could dance the next dance with me. The feelings that resulted from those incidents -- that I was sexy and beautiful and just I am woman hear me RAWR -- that's what I look forward to. I've buried that part of me for so long, for various reasons. I want it back.
6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?
I do in the bloggy world -- thanks for that!!! -- but in the physical world not really. Either it's just not a topic of discussion with some, or there are some around me that are passive-aggressively negative about it. But like I said above, it all starts and ends with me so I'm okay with it. Even though I want to pop the passive-aggressive bitch in the mouth sometimes ;)
7. What is your favorite exercise?
Running. Remember that scene in Grease where Danny is trying to be a jock for Sandy but he can't find a sport because he's just not a sports team player so eventually he ends up in track? That's me. Again, you're the only person you can always count on. In running, it's all me and I always win, I can never fail.
8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?
That it's just me versus me. It's my successes and it's my failures and I'm the only one to praise or blame. It's all very personal -- some of us are never going to be vegetarians or into yoga, just like some of us will never be paleo carnivores and into running. Find what works for YOU. And that there's no magic anything in all of that.
9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?
When I give up sushi, I miss that the most.
10. What is your strategy for losing weight?
I'm going back to paleo. My stomach is such a mess right now, having gone back to eating crap, and I know it doesn't have to be. I also know I have to take it one day at a time, or one hour, or even one minute. At the same time, I didn't get this way overnight. I'm not going to fix it overnight either. Just keep on keeping on!!!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?
2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?
3. Have you always been overweight?
4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?
5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?
6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?
7. What is your favorite exercise?
8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?
9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?
10. What is your strategy for losing weight?
Yay, the Duck is standing up under his own power! And we've got the ball on our own ten yard line!
1. What was your highest weight, what do you weigh right now and what is your goal weight?
My highest weight was around 210 lbs. It's happened at least twice, although both times I wasn't on the scale until a couple of weeks afterward so I'm guessing that's where it was. The highest I've seen on my scale is around 202-204. To give you an idea of what that is for me, I'm 5'8". I looked something like this:
I haven't been on the scale for a couple of weeks because I've been sick and eating a lot of crap. I was around 189 lbs at the end of September. My goal weight is 145 lbs. I weighed just above there when this picture (senior class picture) was taken:
2. What is your #1 motivation for losing weight?
I've been marking time for so long, waiting to do so many things until I was thinner. I'm working hard to live my life every day now regardless of my weight, but I still want to lose weight to feel better both physically and mentally and just overall be the person that I really am.
3. Have you always been overweight?
Nope. In fact, when I was younger (before age 12 or so) people thought my mom wasn't feeding me I was so skinny. I think part of was that I have really long legs. My best friend as a kid was chubby and I wanted to look just like her so I ate a lot trying to gain weight. I didn't gain much though; I have a good metabolism when I'm not overwhelming it with junk. I actually lost the freshman 15 even though I was eating double cheeseburgers and banana splits almost every night. I remained the same weight for years and years until I graduated college. At that time, I stopped walking everywhere (particularly the big hills at college) but didn't eat less to compensate and the pounds started to creep on. It took a good 10 years to add the extra 40-50 lbs that I carry now.
4. When you want to give up what inspires you to keep going?
That I am the only one who can do this for myself. Having been single for a lot of years, I'm the one I have to rely on. It can be hard when you're your own main cheerleader but at the same time it cuts out a lot of the extraneous stuff as well.
5. What is the #1 thing you look forward to when you hit your goal weight?
During one of my first years in college, I was in the student union building having something to eat and I had to leave my table to do something like go mail a letter. I was bothered by something at the time, I forget what. When I came back to my table, there was a paper plate there and on it was written "Smile! You have an amazing body." My senior year in college I was out with some friends and we were all dancing together. A (really cute) guy came up to me on the dance floor and asked if he could dance the next dance with me. The feelings that resulted from those incidents -- that I was sexy and beautiful and just I am woman hear me RAWR -- that's what I look forward to. I've buried that part of me for so long, for various reasons. I want it back.
6. Do you have support on your weight loss journey?
I do in the bloggy world -- thanks for that!!! -- but in the physical world not really. Either it's just not a topic of discussion with some, or there are some around me that are passive-aggressively negative about it. But like I said above, it all starts and ends with me so I'm okay with it. Even though I want to pop the passive-aggressive bitch in the mouth sometimes ;)
7. What is your favorite exercise?
Running. Remember that scene in Grease where Danny is trying to be a jock for Sandy but he can't find a sport because he's just not a sports team player so eventually he ends up in track? That's me. Again, you're the only person you can always count on. In running, it's all me and I always win, I can never fail.
8. What is the most important thing you have learned on your weight loss journey?
That it's just me versus me. It's my successes and it's my failures and I'm the only one to praise or blame. It's all very personal -- some of us are never going to be vegetarians or into yoga, just like some of us will never be paleo carnivores and into running. Find what works for YOU. And that there's no magic anything in all of that.
9. What is one thing you have given up that you miss the most?
When I give up sushi, I miss that the most.
10. What is your strategy for losing weight?
I'm going back to paleo. My stomach is such a mess right now, having gone back to eating crap, and I know it doesn't have to be. I also know I have to take it one day at a time, or one hour, or even one minute. At the same time, I didn't get this way overnight. I'm not going to fix it overnight either. Just keep on keeping on!!!
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Thursday, October 7, 2010
We all need the human touch
Everyone needs to be touched. Infants deprived of human touch will fail to thrive, sicken, and even die. Children instinctively seek out touch, and a failure to do so is considered a red flag for possible neurological problems or possible abuse. As we grow older, we tend to touch less. Seniors are the least touched group in our society.
Many adults rationalize that touch isn't important. If we didn't grow up in a family that touched each other, that is a justification for the lack of touch today. Touch can come to be associated exclusively with sexuality. After a time, we forget that we need to be touched now as much as we did as when we were young.
That happened to me, without even realizing it. I didn't grow up in a family that made physical contact. Kisses, hugs -- rarely expressing feelings at all much less those of love, but that's another story -- just didn't happen. How much that influenced a few wild periods in my "adult" years, I wouldn't even begin to speculate.
Interestingly, once I went on anti-depressants around age 30 and began to have a somewhat rational outlook on the world, I figured out that sex and love weren't the same thing, that that crazy roller coaster drama I thought was love really wasn't, and I started looking for a mate rather than a mating. Consequently, since I also don't have many good friends and none of them are touch people, my opportunities for physical contact sharply declined, first because I was getting my head together and then because I didn't feel like sleeping around anymore.
I split with my last boyfriend several years ago. I try to avoid rebound relationships or whatever euphemism you want to use, so I took a break from men that also coincided with a huge uptick in my professional life. Between putting my hormones on the back burner to give myself time to get over the last relationship and just not having any time whatsoever to even think about the opposite sex (or sex, period), a big chunk of time went by without me realizing how deeply I had buried everything. Not just the need to be touched, but to touch someone when they want you to touch them.
So when I recently had a bit of up close and personal time, it all came flooding back, nearly overwhelming me. Like a vital part of myself -- which really, it is -- had been completely gone and then put back. It's not even necessarily sexual, just a hunger for the contact of skin to skin.
That experience what part of what made me realize I not only wanted my sexy back but that I needed it. Mostly because I didn't even realize it was gone. I had forgotten that feeling of, I don't know, power over someone else who wants you. I wonder if a lot of people who, like me, don't feel attractive or desirable bury that need for touch. I vaguely remember times when I consciously put away that need, until it just became how it was. Again, it's a vital part of who we are as people. How did I lose that?
More importantly, how do I get it back? I want to feel beautiful and desirable again. Doing so is partly physical -- as in, losing weight, being more fit -- but a lot of it is mental, in the attitude. At least one person found me hot and sexy just the way I am. I'm trying hard to hold on to that feeling, to motivate me in other aspects of this journey.
In the meantime, I think I'll be signing up for monthly massages.
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
Many adults rationalize that touch isn't important. If we didn't grow up in a family that touched each other, that is a justification for the lack of touch today. Touch can come to be associated exclusively with sexuality. After a time, we forget that we need to be touched now as much as we did as when we were young.
That happened to me, without even realizing it. I didn't grow up in a family that made physical contact. Kisses, hugs -- rarely expressing feelings at all much less those of love, but that's another story -- just didn't happen. How much that influenced a few wild periods in my "adult" years, I wouldn't even begin to speculate.
Interestingly, once I went on anti-depressants around age 30 and began to have a somewhat rational outlook on the world, I figured out that sex and love weren't the same thing, that that crazy roller coaster drama I thought was love really wasn't, and I started looking for a mate rather than a mating. Consequently, since I also don't have many good friends and none of them are touch people, my opportunities for physical contact sharply declined, first because I was getting my head together and then because I didn't feel like sleeping around anymore.
I split with my last boyfriend several years ago. I try to avoid rebound relationships or whatever euphemism you want to use, so I took a break from men that also coincided with a huge uptick in my professional life. Between putting my hormones on the back burner to give myself time to get over the last relationship and just not having any time whatsoever to even think about the opposite sex (or sex, period), a big chunk of time went by without me realizing how deeply I had buried everything. Not just the need to be touched, but to touch someone when they want you to touch them.
So when I recently had a bit of up close and personal time, it all came flooding back, nearly overwhelming me. Like a vital part of myself -- which really, it is -- had been completely gone and then put back. It's not even necessarily sexual, just a hunger for the contact of skin to skin.
That experience what part of what made me realize I not only wanted my sexy back but that I needed it. Mostly because I didn't even realize it was gone. I had forgotten that feeling of, I don't know, power over someone else who wants you. I wonder if a lot of people who, like me, don't feel attractive or desirable bury that need for touch. I vaguely remember times when I consciously put away that need, until it just became how it was. Again, it's a vital part of who we are as people. How did I lose that?
More importantly, how do I get it back? I want to feel beautiful and desirable again. Doing so is partly physical -- as in, losing weight, being more fit -- but a lot of it is mental, in the attitude. At least one person found me hot and sexy just the way I am. I'm trying hard to hold on to that feeling, to motivate me in other aspects of this journey.
In the meantime, I think I'll be signing up for monthly massages.
Cheers,
the CilleyGirl
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